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by
Todd Brown
September 13, 2008
When did Restless Style become the National
Enquirer? I thought the magazine was supposed to be
about . . . style and stuff. Nobody bought it, so
now it's a monthly expose on Victor Newman's family.
Frankly I can't imagine anyone buying it even now.
Assuming that Victor Newman is Genoa City's version
of Donald Trump, I still don't see a lot of sales
potential. Can you imagine anyone running out to buy
a magazine that had an article about Trump's new
wife, hinting that she slept her way to the top?
Gee, ya think? Duh!
Oh wait, never mind, now Nicholas owns it, which
means it will now be a slightly less juvenile
version of Highlights. I'm not sure I understand how
that decision was made though. The whole coin toss
seemed to be a "heads I win, tails you lose"
proposition. Jack won the coin toss, which allowed
him to name the price it would take for Nick to buy
him out. Victor gave Nick the money, perhaps after
consulting his Ouija board to determine the exact
amount needed, which left Jack with a pile of cash
but no magazine. Anything to make sure Victor wins
over Jack. Again. For the zillionth time. I don't
think they know how coin tosses are supposed to
work.
Not only does Victor have a God complex, but
everyone surrounding him has a worship complex. I
don't know why. Why did Nicholas and Victoria think
everything was going to be sunshine and roses once
he came home? Things were never sunshine and roses
before, especially right before he left. He cut them
out of his will and banished them from his property.
You'd think they'd be glad he was dead, not
salivating over the prospect of kissing his ass
again.
Even the local media worships him. I can't get over
that taped statement he released to the press, like
he's Henry VIII issuing a proclamation that no
reporter should dare to write about him. Or else,
off with their head. Ooh, ooh, Victor - I'm writing
about you! What are you gonna do about it, huh? I
think Phyllis was right - he just wants attention.
It's like that old episode of I Love Lucy, where
Lucy phoned all the newspapers and asked them not to
write about the Princess of Franistan coming to see
Ricky Ricardo, just to get him some publicity.
Apparently the media is no brighter now than it was
in 1950.
What next? I can just imagine the talking heads on
MSNBC, CNN and Fox News chattering endlessly about
what this means, with a running scroll across the
bottom of the screen about the latest Victor Newman
updates. National elections coming up, Russia
invades Georgia, Hurricane Ike is on its way, and
yet Victor Newman is the hottest news story right
now. Boy these people sure live in their own little
world.
If Victor is so wealthy, powerful, famous and
omnipotent, why does he only have seven lousy
servants working for him, and one crappy little
house? In Wisconsin? And of those seven lousy
servants we've seen only one of them before. And
only just recently. I don't know how many people it
takes to dust the three rooms that house seems to
have so it's no wonder their services are no longer
required. And Estella or whatever the hell her name
was should be glad she got out while the getting was
good. Miguel worked for that family for decades and
all he got out of it was a crummy clock. She should
be thankful she never had to cook, clean and
chauffeur all the children and grandchildren around.
Let alone put up the Christmas tree.
With all the "staff" gone, who's taking care of
Victor's famous, but seldom seen, "prized" Arabian
Horses? Are they just wandering around in the
pasture wondering where their dinner is? And if
Victor wants to be alone so badly he got rid of all
the servants, why did he hire a whole team of
security guards? Do they have to clean and take care
of the horses? Does that one guy have to stand there
in front of the door all day long? What a crummy
job. Hey, here's an idea. If Victor wants to be
alone so badly, instead of hunkering down on the
ranch surrounded by his children and security team
with all the drapes closed, why doesn't he move to
that French Chateau he bought for Sabrina?
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