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by
Todd Brown
August 30, 2008
The "In Search of Victor" story was tiresome five
years ago. Now it's just loathsome. Everybody was
ready to canonize him before they even found a body.
I can't get over the glowing terms used to describe
him as though he were some sort of God's Gift to
Humanity. I about fell out of my chair when Heather
described him as "Donald Trump meets Indiana Jones."
Good Lord, is that how the show thinks we actually
see Victor? Try again. More like "Saddam Hussein
meets Grandpa Munster."
Nikki should get drunk more often, she's far more
interesting that way. She decided to get drunk
because she thought Victor was dead, and hey - I
can't think of a better reason to celebrate either.
However, Nikki seemed inexplicably sad about it for
some odd reason. There's a word to describe people
like Nikki who love men who treat them like dirt.
It's called "masochist."
Neil's one too. He actually thinks Victor was like a
father figure to him? I shudder to think what Neil's
actual father was like if that's his definition of a
father. Nobody in the world has bent over backwards
to kiss Victor's sorry ass the way Neil has over the
years and yet Victor still treated him like a lawn
jockey standing at the end of his driveway holding a
brass ring. Victor is like a father only if he went
to the Joan Crawford School of Parenting 101.
How many private jets does Newman Enterprises have,
anyway? Paul and Nikki took one to Mexico and Nick
took another one later. Another one was given to
Neil as a consolation prize for not getting a seat
on the board of directors, and another one crashed
in lake Michigan with Nick in it. And little wonder
considering the pilots they hire. That guy Nick was
talking to looked like he was about 10 years past
retirement age. I wouldn't want that guy flying me
in clear skies let alone stormy weather.
Wow, it's a good thing the Mexican Government
doesn't have control over issuing death certificates
in America. Pieces of Victor's boat washed up on
shore and that was enough for them to declare him
dead. By those standards, about three quarters of
Genoa City would be legally dead.
So Adam thought he could take control based on that,
huh? Refresh my memory, what business school did
this kid go to again? Even the lowliest trailer
dwellers' wills spend months in probate so I can
just imagine how long it would take to sort out The
Great Victor Newman's financial affairs. Hell, the
court is still out on Anna Nicole Smith's estate and
she's dead. I mean, really, truly, positively,
absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.
Yet this puny little punk thought he could take over
the company the very next day. It's a wonder people
weren't just pointing at him and laughing. He looks
like the Mayor of Munchkinland standing next to Neil
and trying to fire him. God, what a horrible casting
choice the show made for this role. This kid is
about as imposing and impressive - not to mention
irrelevant - as the Hansen Brothers. They should be
patting him on his head and smiling condescendingly
at him.
Yet Michael for all his savvy and experience wasted
no time in doling out the family fortune. As
executor and attorney extraordinaire, he could have
held up the dispersal of Victor's fortune for months
in probate court, if not years. And Victoria and
Nicholas could have contested the will and forced an
appeal, but instead everyone just sort of threw
their hands up in the air and walked away. That's
hard to believe, even for these idiots.
Paul sure is a great friend leaving Nikki to her own
devices just to run back to Genoa City because
Heather got a boo-boo. It's not like she was in a
car accident or anything, she just fainted. Paul has
spent his whole life avoiding his children at any
cost and yet when he was on the verge of actually
solving a case for once in his life he abandoned his
lifelong, alcoholic friend in some crappy third
world bar to rush back and hold Heather's hand.
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