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by Todd Brown
August 8, 2008

It continues to be inexplicable why David remains a central figure in this mess of a plot even after his death rather than fade into obscurity as quickly as possible. His legacy remains a testament to bad writing. His gambling addiction seemed an afterthought and never made any sense since he never won anything. And his mob connection cannot be considered anything other than "tacked on" at the 11th hour. Constant failures in campaign management, gaslighting and executive positions cannot compare to his utter lack of talent as a hired killer. I can't imagine a less competent hit man than one who hides the dead body of his murder victim under the very spot where he paid for his wife's horse to live. Did he think the police would conclude that Nikki was the killer? Nikki didn't even know Skye. Then again, considering the police department in this town, maybe they would.

And when Paul Williams cracks a case there has to be a blinking neon sign posted over the crime scene that says "corpse buried here." Paul can't find his own ass with both hands tied behind his back. God this town is filled with morons, no wonder David fit right in. The stable guy said the space where Skye was buried had been used by the previous owners as storage space. Who the hell uses an empty spot under a horses stable that has to be ripped up with a crow bar for storage space?

Looks like Victor is off on his annual quest to find himself, or perhaps the mob who he will no doubt defeat single handed. I'm not sure why he's taking a tacky bus along with what appear to be illegal immigrant workers to start his journey, but frankly anything that gets him off the show for a long while is fine by me. I've had my fill of him.

Not so for his children. The hand wringing over Victor is making me nauseous. It's kind of sad the only person who remembers that Victor typically vanishes every year or so was an 80 year old woman who by all rights should be suffering from Alzheimer's by now. I mean, even Adam himself is the product of one of Victor's famous disappearing acts and they're all standing around going "Geez Victor just wouldn't up and leave would he?" God they're morons if they're not glad he's out of their lives if only temporarily.

Speaking of morons, where in the hell does that little punk Adam get off telling Neil he's going to be running Newman Enterprises now? They've got to be kidding me with this. Do you think if President Bush went missing Jenna could just show up at the White House and go "Sorry Mr. Cheney but I'm in charge now?" It doesn't work that way. There's a board of directors, and there are stock holders. Even if Victor left explicit instructions that Adam be left in charge - which he didn't - there would still be a vote on it. Otherwise, Abby could just walk in there and take control. Which would actually be kind of cool. I'd love to see her in Victor's office announcing "I OWN Newman Enterprises!" Then, you know, Brad and Ashley would send her off to the break room to get some cake or something.

Of course, since Neil has the balls of a salamander he'll probably roll over and let Adam take charge. As if the board of directors would prefer some piss-ant, baby faced kid fresh out of business school to run their international conglomerate over a board member who has been running the company at Victor's side for over 20 years. And what the hell is wrong with Adam anyway? His voice drives me crazy the way it drops off into half speak, half croak midway through every monotonously uttered sentence, as though he were talking in his sleep. I keep expecting someone to yell at him "Wake the hell up!"

Well I guess if Adam can run Newman Enterprises it's not such a stretch for Cane to be appointed CEO of Jabot. Even though he was just a bartender a year ago and has no business background whatsoever. Maybe Devon is right - college is for suckers. Nobody needs a degree in this town to get a high paying job as an executive. Nobody even needs experience. If you've hit the biological jackpot you can be president. By this time next year, Summer will be running Restless Style. They could hardly do worse.
 

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