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by
Todd Brown
July 12, 2008
It's an old story, one you have no doubt seen
before, unless you only just started watching soap
operas yesterday. Man misses girlfriend, man gets
stinking drunk, and nefarious bad girl takes
advantage by crawling into bed with him and claiming
they had sex the next morning when he sobers up.
I've seen it, and seen it, and seen it. Soap writers
just never get tired of dragging this ridiculous
story out of mothballs whenever they have the
chance.
Natalie did it to Jeremy on All My Children, Sami
did it to Austin on Days of our Lives, and on this
very show, Nikki did it to Greg Foster, Katherine
did it to Derek Thurston, Phyllis did it to Danny,
and Brittany did it to Billy. And I'm sure a lot of
you out there can point out other instances on other
shows.
And, the man in question never fails to fall for it.
Gosh, maybe he was so drunk he thought he was having
sex with his girlfriend, he supposes. Next thing you
know, Bad Girl turns up pregnant, and the guy thinks
it could be his. Good Lord. It's right up there with
amnesia, evil twins and babies switched at birth. If
soap writers can't come up with any new material
that hasn't been used over and over again during the
last 50 years, it's no wonder nobody watches soaps
anymore.
It's a shame because the actress who plays Chloe
shows promise. Unfortunately she suffers at the
hands of some very poor formula writing. Who exactly
is she supposed to appeal to? Do the writers imagine
their audience is at least partly comprised of
pathetic, desperate women who throw themselves at
unavailable men and can relate to her? Or is she
just your typical, one-dimensional soap villain for
fans to rally against?
I usually do not comment on what people are wearing,
preferring to leave that to the experts like
Liza Van Horne. But I
always get a kick out of seeing what decade Jana is
going to represent on any given day. At the pool
party she was rocking the Mildred Pierce hairstyle
of the 1940's and then this week at Indigo she was a
carbon copy of Barbara Parkins in Valley of the
Dolls, with her 60's dress, false eyelashes and
hairstyle ripped off from Marlo Thomas in That Girl.
However, I hate to see the obvious talents of
actress Emily O'Brien go to waste like the girl who
plays Chloe, getting stuck in a rut of just turning
up as a comical sidekick with a weird sense of
style. This character is rich with history and
layers not usually seen in one so relatively new and
deserves meatier material than consoling Amber and
fetching iced tea for Sabrina. I'm hoping she
eventually gets her moxy back and starts offing
people again. Starting with Sabrina, hopefully.
Where in the hell did they find such a crummy actor
to play Sabrina's ex-boyfriend Philippe? I haven't
heard such a phony French accent since Steve Martin
used to go around saying "Omelet du fromage" all the
time back in the 1970's. Then again, considering
they hired a Lebanese woman to play a French woman
from Italy with a Spanish last name, I guess we
should be grateful Philippe wasn't Australian. You
know, like Colleen, for instance. I don't think the
casting people understand where countries are.
Sabrina sure got all high and mighty about Victoria
telling her father about her ex-boyfriend, didn't
she? Storming in on the photo shoot like she was the
Queen of Sheba or something? They should have called
security and dragged her out of there. And she had
the nerve to criticize Victoria for assuming she
lied about Philippe? What else is Victoria supposed
to assume? She lied to her about Victor, at least by
omission, and it's not as if French people with
questionable accents and loose ties to Newman women
just show up out of the blue in Genoa City all the
time. Oh, wait. Never mind.
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