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by Todd Brown
July 5, 2008

So they're having another charity gala, huh? The last time I remember them having one is when Ashley showed up holding a blanket she thought was her dead baby. Those things are always a lot of fun. Should be even more fun now that Victoria and Sabrina are co-chairs of the event. Can't wait to see what these two losers come up with as a theme. Renaissance costumes? Good God.

Wow, Sabrina sure seems full of herself these days, throwing her weight around and trying to go up against Nikki and Victoria. Where does this woman get off getting in Nikki's face and telling her what to do? Frenchy Morticia there is really starting to lose her charm. I wonder if she has any inkling how ridiculous she looks acting like she knows Victor better than his daughter or the woman he married three times before he ever even met her. She's got a lot to learn.

Oh dear God in Heaven please spare us all from this little singing midget that's been thrust upon us unwanted. She's about the last thing this show needs right now. Not too bright, either. Who the hell wants to live in Genoa City forever? Somebody better fill her in on what happens to children in this town. And if her mother fell on hard times where the hell did she get the money to drive all the way from Seattle to Wisconsin? Wouldn't it have made more sense for her to take her little prodigy down to LA and audition for some Disney show? They could have stayed with Devon's crackhead of a mother. I don't know why Devon is so jazzed to see them, they sure as hell weren't around when he was being shifted from one foster home to another and made no effort to contact him let alone help him. But then again, maybe they'd met him before.

Poor, poor Nikki. A victim once again. She should have it tattooed on her forehead. But you know what's even sadder than Nikki and her idiocy? The fact that the writers had the colossal gall to have Victor express his concern for her. This, after the man declared for all the world to hear that he wanted to see her stripped of every dime she owned and thrown out onto the streets "where she belonged." His exact words. What an about face. Now the show gets to tell us once again how right Victor was and how wrong everyone else was. What a special treat for us.

At least the week ended with a return to the time honored tradition of the summer holiday by the pool - of which only a corner can be seen, and a corner where a floating inflatable dragon is inexplicably visible despite the fact that none of the party-goers were children. Nor were any of them actually seen swimming in said pool. Good thing, too, since as far as I can tell it's only 2 inches deep.

Looked like a pretty fun party at the Abbotts', although I wouldn't want to go anywhere near the bathroom afterwards. The way these people were tossing back the booze was rather startling. Amber was downing those shots right and left and should have died from alcohol poisoning in the first hour. Both she and Michael topped off vodka with a cold beer, and you know what they say: Beer after liquor, never been sicker. But then again I guess if you live in Genoa City you can stand just about anything.

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