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Will Cassie's birthday
never end? For the life of me, in all the years I've watched this show, I
don't ever once recall anyone celebrating Cassie's birthday. I remember the
Halloween party on the Newman jet, the many 4th of July barbecues by the
pool where hardly anyone showed up and Miguel had to do all the work, and
several Christmases and Thanksgivings. But I don't remember a single
birthday party for Cassie. Yet now that she's dead, the entire town is in an
uproar over what to do about her birthday. Noah makes her a card, Nikki
wants the entire family to spend the day together, Nick and Sharon spend
days fretting over what to do on this momentous occasion. I swear, if they'd
have made half this much of a fuss over Cassie's birthday when she was
alive, she might still be with them today.
I'm not sure if it's supposed to be ironic or insufferable of Victor to
comment on the state of Nick and Sharon's marriage. The man has about as
much respect for the institution of marriage as Woody Allen. He offers his
own home to his ex wife without even consulting his current one, knowing
only too well how Nikki would react to the idea of Ashley moving in with
them. He shows up at the home of his ex wife amidst dozens of reporters
without a care as to how that's going to look in the papers, then
practically beats one of them up for daring to intrude. How's that for the
pot calling the kettle black?
It seems to me that Victor and Ashley should have stayed together seeing as
they're both cut from the same cloth of hypocrisy. Ashley's another one who
wears her family values medal on her sleeve while flying in the face of her
family's best interests at the same time. She cares so much about her father
she's willing to take a murder rap for him but how does she think her
father's going to react when he comes home from the hospital and finds
Victor Newman standing in his living room hugging his "beauty?" Surely John
will eventually recover his memory and confess, which will mean that Ashley
will be charged with obstruction of justice, which should send John right
back to the hospital if not the mortuary. I think I'd rather have Lizzie
Borden as a daughter.
I don't understand why
the paparazzi is staked out on the Abbott front lawn when Ashley is easily
accessible at the athletic club. Reporters are coming to the front door and
getting threatened with Victor abuse or police intervention while Ashley
sips wine in a public place and gets a dozen roses for her sorrows. Very few
killers get roses for their troubles. And God knows Gina lets anyone into
that place. I guess the media is about as lazy in Genoa City as they are
anywhere else.
If I never have to hear about THE KEY to the sideboard again it will be too
soon. I still can't imagine what John was thinking when he decided the best
place to keep his gun was a drawer in the dining room. Nor am I able to
fathom why the whereabouts of the key to said drawer became such a
monumental issue. It's a stinking drawer for God's sake, anyone could have
opened it regardless of whether it's locked or not. It's not a vault.
I sure hope they're paying Mrs. Martinez good money to put up with these
lunatics. Their treatment of her has obviously caused her neurological
damage. I can barely make out a word she says. Clearly there's something not
quite right with Mrs. Martinez but I'm not sure if it's a result of her
having to work for slave driving idiots or if she started out that way and
was the best they could get because nobody else would take the job.
So what do we think of the new Colleen? She's not as cute as the last
Colleen, but without that baby voice that made my ears bleed I'm hoping she
will be far less annoying. The universities in New York must be as liberal
as the one in Genoa City if they let their students go on "emergency" family
leave when your father's ex-wife who also happens to be your mother's half
sister was arrested for murder. That one ranks right up there with "the dog
ate my homework." As Colleen learned of her father's engagement to Victoria,
she must have surely had to pause to consider how Victoria was related to
her. Let's see, she's her father's ex-wife's ex husband's daughter. Meaning
she was once her step cousin. That ought to buy her another few months off
from school.
I wonder if they'll ever revisit Colleen's past as a part time pot head and
full time ballerina. In fact the old Colleen used to appear in the opening
credits doing that laughable pirouette wearing a tutu. It doesn't speak well
of her further performing pursuits if Abby fell asleep watching the DVD of
her recent play. If nothing else, I hope the return of this character puts
an end once and for all for this interminable story of the Secret Letter
that Lily wrote Daniel. I'm as tired of hearing about it as I am about the
dumb key.
I'm also tired of Glenn
Richards. He's a laughing stock. In all the time he's been on this show he
has yet to pursue the right criminal. And he's got beady little eyes that
almost make him look cross eyed and never waivers in his conviction that
he's prosecuting the right suspect no matter how many times he is proven
wrong. Aren't district attorneys voted into office? Does no one vote in this
town? Have they not been paying attention to the fact that their D.A. is a
moron? Or are they all too busy working out at the gym to care if criminals
go free and innocents are locked up?
What is Victoria thinking, walking right into Nick and Sharon's house
without even knocking? Doesn't she know there's a better than 50/50 chance
they might be having sex on the living room sofa? I swear their
exhibitionism is the only thing that keep their relationship going. They
want to get caught, it's a real turn on for them to think of doing it in a
public place where anyone might walk in and catch them. They probably do it
on elevators too.
So it's true, everyone knows that Sharon is a slut. She seemed surprised to
learn that Drucilla and everyone else in town knew about Nick's affair with
Grace and her unfortunate encounter with Cameron Kirsten in Denver. I don't
know why, it's a small town and when you spread your legs for anything
wearing pants people are bound to talk.
Aw, how sweet. Mac got a postcard from her cousin/ex-husband. Unfortunately
Jill had to deliver it to her because Billy didn't have her address. Which
is strange since she's living in the exact same place she was when Billy
last saw her and in fact where Billy was also living. It's a good thing
those two never had kids together because at this point I'd say their
offspring can't afford further intellectual retardation from in-breeding.
And now JT and Mac are expressing a desire to have sex on their living room
sofa. What is it with people in this town and sofa sex? Have you seen these
sofas? That doesn't even look comfortable. They have perfectly good bedrooms
and mattresses but they want to do it right in the living room where anyone
can walk in a catch them. It's a sick thing.
Speaking of sick things, I'm afraid I just don't get it about Nick and
Phyllis. Yes, I can understand why they'd be attracted to one another.
They're both good looking people. But where is Nick coming from? Sure, maybe
it's hard for him to open up to his wife because they both share the pain of
Cassie's death. But Phyllis surely has at least as much baggage considering
her son's role in Cassie's death. All I can gather from these two is that
they have the libidos of whores in heat and a complete lack of self control
and discretion.
I mean really, the stables? That's worse than the sofa. Surely there are
stable hands at the ranch. We've never seen any of them but I'm guessing
they have some. And security people. We seldom see them either but I've
heard mention of them. What about Miguel? God knows he runs the place. Is it
really wise to have sex in the stables where any of these people might
wander in and discover them in the middle of the act? If nothing else,
consider the poor horses. They don't need to see that. Frankly, neither do
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