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Incompetence Has Its
Rewards
Conjecture, hearsay, unsubstantiated theories, mastermind on the loose and
said to be "anywhere in the world", happy to learn that a case his office
couldn't solve and former assistant Heather Stevens botched, D.A. Dennis
Elroy slapped a "done good" sticker on Stevens for solving the case and
re-hired her! Daily Daze
Does Your Liver Quiver?
Money, power, the ability to summon medical experts from around the globe
whenever members of his family need to be saved, does Victor Newman know
that at the God Have Mercy Medical Center the rich needing new livers must
wait their turn in line like the less fortunate?
Daily Daze
I'll See Your Sonogram
and Raise You an Ultrasound
A birthday cake for herself, a slice for "Cane Junior", and a
sonogram/ultrasound to prove she had sex with Cane Ashby, Chloe Mitchell
also has a bright idea: Have Amber Moore accidentally on purpose get
pregnant with Daniel Romalotti's baby.
Daily
Daze
Newman: Baby Wasn't Lost
- Was Ripped From Womb!
At first telling his near-death wife not to fret about the loss of her
unborn baby and that there are plenty more where that one came from, Victor
Newman has vowed to make the person who ripped the baby from Sabrina
Newman's belly pay. Daily Daze
Women Beware, Newman
Loaded With Sperm!
Hello sperm my old friend, I've um, come to shoot you again and again and
have lots of babies before I reach the age of one hundred which will be in
about twenty years. Daily Daze
Abbott Seizes Control of
Cosmetics Company;
Young Newman Grabs Widget Empire
Worried that in today's economy shares of a toxic chemical company stock
have plunged a mere twenty dollars, and it couldn't have anything to do with
poor sales, Jill Abbott seized control of Jabot Cosmetics as across the
street young Adam Wilson presumed to take control of Newman Enterprises.
Daily Daze
Scratching the Surface
By golly, Lauren Baldwin paid for those teats and so long as they stay
inflated she's damn well going to flaunt them.
Fashion/Style
Dead Man's Hand! David
Chow Draws Aces & 8's; Lady of Manor Clings to Life
A regular wheel of death, rambling gambling man David Chow was killed today
when the limousine he was traveling in experienced mechanical failure, went
off the road and crashed. A passenger with Chow at the time, Mrs. Victor
Newman was rushed to the God Have Mercy Medical Center where her unborn baby
was reported to have stopped being viable.
Daily Daze
A Pile of Horse Crap
Among David Chow's many victims, missing card shark Skye Lockhart's body is
reportedly buried under a pile of horse manure as a lesson to others who
might cheat at poker. Daily Daze
Aging Rocker Surfing
Malibu for Young Boys
Touring Europe for years subsequent to a washed-up USA career, one-hit
wonder Danny Romalotti is said to have purchased a home in Malibu with which
to entice his young faux son. Daily Daze
Clueless PI Solves Old
Murder Case!
Based entirely on hearsay, innuendo and brain farts, from the comfort of
Crime Solver Headquarters where he's been camped for a week or more, the
most clueless private eye anywhere, Paul Williams reached the conclusion
that David Chow killed Mr. Kim Chee.
Daily
Daze
Scratching the Surface
Liza Van Horne reports from the Charity Gala.
More
They Were Expendable
About as useless a teats on a bull, would you like some of my prescription
drugs, Lauren Baldwin was given and accepted the task of keeping an eye on
Sabrina Newman. So why is Sabrina dead?
Daily
Daze
Jabot Cosmetics Rocked By
Scandal, Stocks Tumble!
Hello? Financial News Network? You don't know who I am, but I've got a hot
scoop. The co-CEO at Jabot Cosmetics has a gambling addiction. Yeah, David
Chow. Isn't that scandalous? Could you run a story on tonight's news about
it without checking the facts or getting both sides of the story? C'mon, you
know CNN and FOX would. Daily Daze
Genoa City Intervention
Judge Fudge comes out of retirement for a Chloe Mitchell intervention.
More
Birds Of a Feather Flock
Together
This is not drama. It's stupidity and we the fools for engaging it.
Daily Daze
God Save the Queen
Warning Nikki Chow that she's in dire danger, showing her the proof, calling
in the FBI before David Chow can strike again would make too much sense.
Instead, a sitting around on his clueless ass PI proposes that attempts to
save the queen of daytime drama before she's actually in danger, to have her
surrounded by bodyguards or kidnapped her for her own good, could kill her.
Daily Daze
Hamilton Kids Top Gala
Billing
Cheap bastards, if Charity Ball/Gala organizers had wanted to raise some
real cash they would have enlisted the services of some real singers, not
some talent-less, nepotistic, glass-shattering children named Ana and Devon
Hamilton. Daily Daze
Sold Into Slavery
Outside the low-life's and trailer park trash, why would those espousing
family values want their children hanging around bars and nightclubs? Has
Ana Hamilton been sold into slavery?
Daily
Daze
Former Flower Child's
Husband Not Named Chow
Don't ask how sitting around on his ass, sucking up second and third hand
information as fact, Paul Williams knows about David Chow. He just does.
It's what private eyes do. Daily Daze
Gold Spoons Ripped From
Mouths of Babes In Diapers
Victor Newman cuts J.T. Hellstrom's combat boot-wearing wife out of the will
and the hunkmonkey squeals that Newman doesn't know the first thing about
being a father? What has Hellstrom's father done for him lately?
Daily Daze
Professor Strikes Back!
While injured party Victor Newman has had to hire a lawyer to dissect the
Useless Style hatchet job article published about his wife, the Genoa City
News has gone the great man one better by having Professor Gerbil critique
his own article for free! Caution: Contains strong language which some
readers may find offensive.
More
Three Must Die
Okay, so the number of elite in Genoa City deserving to meet their untimely
death is much higher, but with two adult heads on the chopping block it's a
start. Daily Daze
Scratching the Surface
Hold your head high, keep a stiff upper lip, that's fine. But please keep
your armpit out of my face! Fashion/Style
Fashion Magazine Hires
Personal Ass-Kisser Following Attack
For the second time in as many weeks a member of the Genoa City elite has
been given a job without an interview, without asking what the job pays, or
what benefits it provides. And of what use is Chloe Mitchell's dressing Lily
Winters skill to a fashion magazine? Apparently none as Mitchell seems to
have been compensated for an attack by the co-publisher's whiny niece.
Daily Daze
Newman Calls "Journalist"
Subhuman
With so many in the media pretending to be journalists perhaps Jack Abbott
thought he could get away with it too. It was the biggest joke so far this
week except that Victor Newman wasn't laughing.
Daily Daze
City Abuzz Over Magazine
Story Based On Lies!
Never mind that Useless Style Magazine doesn't have a wide-ranging reader
base, or that most readers know little or nothing about art, or the woman
named in an obscure article, and could give a rip about some sexual tryst
she may have engaged in, the article is most shocking. It will surpass the
ghastly New Yorker's satirical cover outrage.
Daily Daze
Fabricated Article Saved
Jobs
Summertime in the Year of Our Google, people are gathering 'round the water
coolers and the coffee shops and saying, gosh, I can't decide if this
articulate, thoughtful, deeply intelligent fashion magazine story is great,
really great, or perhaps something extraordinary, a once-in-a-lifetime kind
of wisdom-bearing sexual scandal that will drive a stake deep into the black
heart of that disgraced state senator turned publisher Jack Abbott. Why
would he lie? To save jobs? Daily Daze
Gambler Tapped For
Charity Fund Raising Event
As children of the corn chronically warn mommy that step-daddy is not to be
trusted, that he's walking all over mommy and very dangerous, what does
mommy do and the children agree to? Put rambling gambling David Chow in
charge of the money! Daily Daze
Scratching the Surface
Lazy writing? It's
just another pesky detail, about which the writers can't spend five minutes
on the Internet to find the right references.
Fashion/Style
The Beg & Bawl Playbook
Creepy kid kicked you out of bed? Beg and bawl. Creepy husband can't find
the toxic cream he's holding over you? Creepy children won't give your
creepy husband another chance to prove himself? Beg and bawl.
Daily Daze
Toxic Cream Swiped From
Hotel Safe!
Key to putting Gloria Bardwell behind bars for the death of one Emma Gibson,
the toxic skin cream murder weapon from Jabot Cosmetics last in the hands of
Jeff Bardwell before being placed in the Athletic Supporter Club Hotel safe
is now said to have been swiped. Daily Daze
We Slime, You Slime,
Everyone Slimes
People like Nick Newman think that because they cheat and slime around,
everyone does. Here Newman is partnered with a disgraced state senator and
he's worried about illegalities? Worried that he'll have no legacy to leave
his children and that he'll never get out from under daddy's shadow?
Daily Daze
Coming Soon!
An event that will change the landscape of Genoa City forever, a child will
cry out from the darkness, "How could I be born? Didn't my daddy have a
vasectomy?" Yes, Victor Newman got snipped, but he's the man of steel;
nothing can stop his powerful sperm from reaching its intended victim.
Making it up as they go along, an explanation is said to be forthcoming from
the powers that be to explain what really happened to make the omnipotent
Newman potent again. Plus, there's another creamy substance issue in need of
resoultion. Daily Daze
Scratching The Surface
With so many stay-at-home
moms up to their eyeballs in diapers and boogers and spit-up, do we really
need another pregnancy in Genoa City?
Fashion/Style
Exploited Children Of the
Damned
Aren't there child labor laws and liquors laws in Genoa City? How is it that
an eleven-year-old girl is allowed to perform at a jazz club where liquor is
sold? Daily Daze
Cover Girl?
What happens when a real model gets busted for stealing and can't make the
cover of a fashion magazine? What happens when in all of Genoa City there
are no other models except for the whorish Sharon Newman Abbott, but she
can't do the cover because she's a partner at the magazine and it might
appear nepotistic? Of course! Put the publisher's bitchy sister on the
cover! Daily Daze
High Stakes and Low IQs
David Chow has already thought to have killed at least two of his former
wives, so how could another death make the stakes any higher? Are three
unknown dead women mere collateral damage, but when the elite Nikki Chow
could become the next victim only then is there concern that someone must
get off their fat ass and do something?
Daily
Daze
Nepotism Strikes Again!
Without asking what the job pays, what if any benefits come with it, what
the hours are, or who will watch her young child while she's working,
Seattle transplant Tyra Hamilton has accepted the position of manager at the
Indigo Jazz/Breakfast Club where minors are welcome.
Daily Daze
Dumbest Man In America
Hey kids, it's Y&R's Summer message to you. Drink and drive and have lots of
sex without any of the responsibility.
Michael Kelly reports
The Boy With Red Panties
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, cavorting with
disease-ridden groupies does not make Daniel Romalotti straight and for sure
as hell the red panties didn't help to convince anyone that there isn't
something queer about this boy. Daily Daze
Cosmetics Coup In the
Works As Bardwell's Position For Power
Making the claim that running Jabot Cosmetics would put her in a "rightful
place", uneducated, scandalous murder suspect, Gloria Abbott Bardwelll may
go so far as to worm banned by court order Jack Abbott into her coup.
Daily Daze
Scratching the Surface
Cheap? You think converting the old Colon Room into a gambling casino was
cheap? You ain't seen cheap. Fashion/Style
Someone Saved Your Life?
So?
Remember when it was said that the Clear Springs disaster would turn the
haters into lovers? So how'd that turnout?
Daily
Daze
Driving Miss Crazy
There's a party going on at the Abbott mansion. Cane Ashby and Chloe
Mitchell are among the first to leave. He drives her car, it runs out of
gas, and it's he who walked six miles? Why is that?
Daily Daze
Poker For Dummies
Didn't rambling gambling man David Chow go bust in Las Vegas? Didn't he
whine for a couple days that he'd lost everything? Did mobster Walter Palin
loan a loser more money and long before Chow returned to Genoa City Brad
Carlton knew to summon lady luck Skye Lockhart for another poker game with
Chow? Daily Daze
In Depends Dunce Day
Dependence on power, greed, hate, lies, cheap sex, bad jokes, daddy's money,
reconciliation of family for baby's sake, diaper-wearing adults acting like
children, it's just another day in Genoa City.
Daily Daze
Scratching the Surface
Flossing emergency? Asking a fat woman if she'd like more chocolate, why
it's a regular freak week. Fashion/Style
Ciao, Chow! End Of Daze
For David
Of all the Genoa City residents who deserve to die or otherwise be ordered
out of town, why must it be David Chow who gets his walking papers?
Michael Kelly reports.
Some Like It Hot, Sleazy
Glasses shattered and windows cracked as the singer wailed
and patrons gorging themselves on crispy fried rat
carcass joined in. They crowned thy good with
brotherhood while they could because the next day it
was back to full-scale hatred of thy fellow man.
Daily Daze
Brother Love's Traveling
Salvation Show
Give 'em that old time religion. It's just what patrons of a night club open
in the daytime serving breakfast crave. A little girl belting out religious
tunes as her mother moves on up to the big leagues.
Daily Daze
Set Me Free Why Don't You
Babe?
The bad guy, David Chow will go down in flames. The forces of goodness are
already on his trail. This is how it must be.
Good always trumps Evil. It's the American way no
matter how evil the bitch is.
Daily Daze
Private Citizen Reopens
Murder Investigation!
Who among you haven't done it? Your employer is bitching that you've been
making mistakes on the job. You suspect the boss is really upset that you
blew a murder investigation in another life. What do you do? Reopen the
investigation! Daily Daze
Noah Newman Writes Home
Away at Rapid Aging Summer Camp, for Noah Newman it's more than learning
about kayaking and canoeing. More
In the Swill of Daytime
Soap
How do we do it? How is it possible to sit there zoning out in front of some
mindless slew of morons as they repeat the same mistakes over and over?
Because happiness is fleeting? Because thirty-plus years on we're still
hoping someone, anyone, will go six months without a single tragedy in their
meaningless lives? Daily Daze
June
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