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This is a listing of all article headlines that have appeared on the front
page for readers interested in archives or for quick access.
Long Lost Son Blows Pop Stand
The way
Phillip Chancellor goes on about having to "protect" Cane Ashby, someone he
loves like a "brother" you'd think Cane's name was Chancellor too. Oh wait,
it is, or was, or Jill Abbott, who once thought Cane was her long-lost son,
said as much when she told Cane that no matter his massive fraud committed
against her, she'll always consider him her son.
Daily Daze
Wannabe Mob Boss
Romalotti Told Not To Leave Town
Much as
Daniel Romalotti is a ex-porn addict and wanna be gangster who never learns
that you just can't go around seeking vengeance and breaking laws, alleged
lawyer Michael Baldwin declared he can't leave the state simply because he
may be implicated in a murder. Daily Daze
Open
Door Policy Rules at Resort For Criminally Insane
Genoa City is
a major Midwestern business hub. There is Chancellor Industries with its
widget factory, Newman Enterprises with its secondary chemical plant, and
Jabot Cosmetics with skin creams so toxic they literally burn away entire
face, but best of all there are the mixed nut houses with their open door
policies. Daily Daze
Blowing In The Wind; Gay
Man Will Take On Manly Cowboys
To throw
cattle rustlers off Cane Ashby's trail, because they're coming to Wisconsin
to get Ashby, Phillip Chancellor will what- scare 'em with his purse?
Daily Daze
Money To Burn! City's Biggest Schemers Back In the Big Time
Old fart who
should be on her knees thanking God she got what appears to be ten cents on
the dollar of her Cayman Island's Bank money back, Gloria Bardwell whined
even as she dropped a bundle at Fenmore's Department Store now that she's got
money to burn. Daily Daze
Nannies In Big Demand
If Sharon
Collins wants to get her hands dirty she might go into the nanny business.
Nannies are in big demand. How long after not giving birth did Ashley Newman
gladly hand her baby off to the hired help? Who watches Fen-Fen Baldwin when
his parents are out slumming. Who changes Nick Newman's diapers? Oh, wait.
Daily Daze
Prodigal Daughter
Returns; No Questions Asked
Where has
Heather Stevens been? Off praying with granny Williams that God will bring
Patty Williams back to the family? Daily Daze
High
Unemployment Rate No Problem For Restless Coffee Shop Owner
Whining that
business at his coffee shop isn't good and a real job might better suit his
extravagant lifestyle, Kevin Fisher simply had a rich lady wave her magic
employment wand and he was practically on the payroll of a major widget
factory. Daily Daze
Faith Hailed As Miracle
Cure For Cancer
Would Dr.
Olivia Winters agree with Cane Ashby that all Lily Ashby needs to get her
past the cancer is "faith"? Was faith responsible for saving Chance
Chancellor's spleen? Would faith save Chancellor from embarrassment when he
asks, "Has Cane ever been here?" as his wiener slops around inside Chloe
Mitchell's vast penile parking lot? Daily Daze
Mother Prays For Crazy
Daughter's Return
For years
Mary Williams bitched and moaned that her son hadn't given her a grandson
and when he finally did where the hell was the old woman when Paul Williams
deported the kid to the new Mexico that is California? Praying?
Daily Daze
Internet Ordained, Old Woman Marries Young Stud and Aging Skank
Could it be
there's really a place on the Internet when one might become ordained such
that the State of Wisconsin will recognize such marriages as legal? Is the
only requirement that the two being wed must be male and female? What if two
men want to get married, could Katherine do that too?
Daily Daze
You Dirty Rat!
The once
infamous Lauren Slutmore targeted by evildoers, horse heads are apparently
hard to come by or too cumbersome to carry up a flight of stairs to an
apartment building roof. Daily Daze
Fishing For Family
Add to Murphy
Chancellor acting as if Chance Chancellor is the son he never had and it
gets downright creepy because - as always - the question arises as to why
Murphy doesn't have a family of his own. Daily
Daze
Pal Joey!
If Cane Ashby
thinks being alone is tough he should try the really hard stuff, like coming
up with money for a real surrogacy, or a real woman willing to hatch his
wife's eggs. Let him and didn't have cancer too bad Lily Ashby try finding
affordable daycare or figuring out if they can afford to turn the heater on
when it's cold outside. The only good thing to come of this
thanks-for-hatching-my-scrambled-eggs omelet is that Mac Browning will have
to undergo a mental evaluation. Daily Daze
Daddy Loves Son Will Go
Bye-Bye Soon
To protect
the man he conspired with to commit fraud, and maybe had sex with, Phillip
Chancellor III will ditch his son again for life in the Outback.
Daily Daze
"Difficult Year", School
Should Cut Failing Student Slack
Mid-terms in
progress at most normal schools, why are there so many "parent-teacher"
conferences being held at Genoa City High/Walnut Grove Academy? Who are
these parents and why hasn't Ashley Newman been attending?
Daily Daze
Can't Do The Time, Local
Artist Throws Caution To Wind
Beating Kevin
Fisher's record as most often arrested and in trouble with the law,
sometimes artist mostly do-nothing bum Daniel Romalotti whines of not doing
time for crimes committed. Daily Daze
Loss Of Dead Baby Was No
Big Deal
Nature's way
of telling Mac Browning to "try again", the blob of yellowish sticky stuff
festering on the floor of a God Have Mercy Medical Center examination room
was nothing more than an unfortunate premature ejaculation.
Daily Daze
Love Is a Drug
"We
always go back for more," Victoria Carlton brayed
of her love for a hunkmonkey which had fallen asleep after blowing his wad
on her. Daily Daze
Dr. Pee Legend In Jack
Abbott's Mind
What makes
Dr. Pee Wiggle legendary? That her taking a new job at the God Have Mercy
Medical Center's new oncology department will give her a chance to finish
writing a book? With so many Looney Tunes running loose in this city when
will Pee have time to write? Daily Daze
Medical Hit Parade
Chance Chancellor is merely in rotation; his turn on
the medical hit parade old man Murphy Chancellor has nothing to worry about.
At the very least the boy's family has some idea as to whether he's alive or
dead which is more than Paul Williams can say of his son.
Daily Daze
Miscarrying Bar Owner To
Hatch Cancer Victim Eggs
Is there any
wonder that Lily Winters Ashby has not yet been declared a "miracle" cancer
patient? Where but in Genoa City are infections so severe as to require
medication of "last resort" which work wonders in just under an hour? Is
there no shame that after a couple chemotherapy treatments Ashby would be
wanting a baby bore by the miscarrying Mac Browning?
Daily Daze
New Shrink Doles Out Free
Counseling
An entire ward at the God Have Mercy Medical Center dedicated to
psychopaths, never before had a psychiatrist from there offered free
counseling to the semi-sane patients elsewhere in the hospital. It wasn't
until the newly constructed Oncology
Department opened that Dr. Pee Wiggle, first day on a job arranged for her
by Jack Abbott, went around dispensing free counseling to the rich.
Daily Daze
Clear Springs Lesson In
Futility
Please be
advised that I, Katherine Chancellor Sterling Chancellor, am not legally
responsible for the acts of one Jeffery Todd Hellstrom. Although Mr.
Hellstrom was employed through the Paul Williams Detective Agency & Alarm
Company by my grandson, his reported pulling a thumb out of his ass at about
the time the building collapse occurred was of his own doing and not
condoned by Chancellor Industries or its subsidiaries. It has always been
our policy that employees keep their thumbs up their asses.
Daily Daze
Boys Will Be Girls
The things
J.T. Hellstrom and Brad Carlton wanted to do with their babies. The fishing
trips and father/son bonding. The teaching their boys how to play baseball
and their girls how to play with dolls only kids like Noah Newman grew up
learning how to bake cookies. Daily Daze
Yum, Red Meat Good For
Caveman, Cancer
Talk about
morons, Lily Ashby slaving over a hot stove, cooking a pot roast for her
caveman, is the cancer patient unaware that eating red meat is conductive to
breeding cancer? Does she have a death wish?
Daily Daze
Search #6666 For Missing
Chancellor Heir
Look what
happened the last time she opened this can of worms. Arthur Hendricks for
one, Cane Ashby for two, there was Jill thinking she'd be rich forever and
here she is having to work again for a living. Dig up another daughter and
Kevin Fisher will turn out to be Katherine's half-grandson. Hey, don't
laugh. You think this is funny? Daily Daze
Return To Hole Big Event
For One-Eyed Monster
Dripping with
anticipation, Lily Ashby told her man of where she gets injected with toxic
drugs. She got the part about chemotherapy being poisonous right, but good
god, why point out the obvious? Why not spread her vagina open too so the
man could see where the doctors worked their magic? Most men would have lost
their erections at the mere suggestion. Daily
Daze
Little Shop Of Horrors
Back In Monkey Business, Hiring Too!
No experience
required to work at Lauren Fenmore Baldwin's Little Shop Of Horrors, any
experience over qualifies applicants who are hired on the spot without
background checks or fears that they might be infected with Swine Flu. If
only potential job applicants knew they could make more money at Jabot
Cosmetics which too will hire anyone off the street.
Daily Daze
Extortion Attempt
Failure? Try, Try Again
In cahoots
again with his criminal mother and step-daddy, all-purpose attorney Michael
Baldwin not only paid Gloria Bardwell's rent for a month, he said the SEC,
or maybe the FCC, you never can tell which the way Baldwin slurs his words,
is investigating the Cayman Islands bank collapse.
Daily Daze
Victor Newman Was Here!
The great
Victor Newman, with his persistent "gift of life" gab and mumbling that he's
going to live forever, so long as he has that old cow milking his teat, has
recorded for posterity a video so that the world will never forget that he
clawed his way from nothing to the top. The world will not soon forget the
powerful mumbling man. Daily Daze
Grave Digging
By the time
Billy Abbott returned to Genoa City Colleen Carlton was well on her way to
becoming a town slut having slept with her school professor and then falling
out of a rowboat to her death. No matter the facts, now Abbott goes on and
on like they were brother and sister, or maybe younger uncle and older niece
having sex. Daily Daze
Yum, Sugar; Good For
Rotting Teeth
In today's
ignorance epidemic, uneducated, misinformed, scared of science and don't
believe there's anything wrong with consuming high fructose corn syrup and
pure sugar when it's available, Halloween is a time for parents like Nick
and Phyllis Newman to feed their kids as much of it as possible and then
joke about any resulting rotten teeth. Daily
Daze
Hate All The Rage
There's
something to be said about a grown Newman hacking that one Abbott is after
his clan when he says nothing about the other Abbott who has been out to
destroy his family for years and with whom Newman swapped wives.
Daily Daze
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