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Commentary by Brent Kellogg
July 1, 2009

Today's big question: Where the hell was old man Murphy when his new bride needed him? Please don't say he was working at the bait and tackle shop; the geezer doesn't need to work anymore and had no reason to work back when Katherine Chancellor was looking for her mind and shacking up with him. Murphy must have some clue as to all the stress Katherine is being exposed to at their humble mausoleum, so why not be home with the old lady?

Had Murphy been around he could have stepped in when faux daughter Jill Abbott starting hounding Katherine. Okay, so Katherine brought it on herself when she said that whoever, or whatever, was inside Phillip Chancellor III's casket must be "around here somewhere."

WTF? Around somewhere, like the afterbirth granddaughter Mac Browning dropped on the floor at the God Have Mercy Medical Center and simply walked off leaving the mess to be cleaned by janitors, or to miraculously grow into the child of Mac's who could come back years later to haunt her?

Speaking of haunting, you're probably confused by all the men, not that Cane Ashby is a man, named Phillip. There's Katherine's dead hubby Phillip II, the not really dead Phillip III, and Nina Webster's son, Phillip Chancellor IV. We already know that Cane won't take what Jill says is his rightful name because when she said that the notion of her dead son being so alive would have been too stressful, or so said Cane, Cane isn't Phillip III. He is, apparently, working in cahoots with the real Phillip III going by the name Quigley, who I've since nicknamed Wiggly, and this is because like so many confused Genoa City kids, Phillip III now has an axe to grind. There is nothing sweeter than revenge despite how often they claim to have all-American family values.

Anyway, to clear up the confusion, somebody, I know not who, will nickname Phillip IV "Chance". You got all that? Chance. Where have we heard that before? Wasn't it the name of a dog in some Western movie?

At any rate, let's focus on the fake Cane, or maybe that's his real name given that Nick Newman seems to want his unborn baby named "Faith" so that in some bizarre way he can tell daddy Victor Newman there's a new baby named Faith to compliment Victor's dead wife named Hope. Faith and Hope. Get it? Now all we need is someone name "Able" to compliment Cane who you've seen has no problem carrying around a vial of blood in his pocket in the event he's asked to give a sample of blood for a DNA test. Note too the vial is properly labeled as Cane knew in advance which lab Nina had employed to perform the test.

Naturally, when Cane arrives at the mausoleum there will be an estate-calling lab technician come to take Cane's blood and in all the confusion Cane can switch his blood with that in his pocket even to the point of botching the transfer, spilling some blood, having someone scream that the blood is tainted and nobody say, "Hey! What the hell is going on here?"

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