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Commentary by Brent Kellogg
September 16, 2009

Oh my god, the daze ahead are scary ones. Aren't you shaking in your boots. Wouldn't you be as alarmed as I was to read that Patty Williams is "ill"? Damn, who knew? You mean healthy people go around killing dogs and cats and pining for decade-old failed lovers and kidnapping people at gunpoint? You mean Jack Abbott will again beg Patty to spare the life of his darling niece? Colleen Carlton will have a vision foretelling her death? Is there any way we can help make it come true? If Patty is going to kill Colleen, could she please kill Jack too since he's expected to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb? You'd do this for your niece, right? Patty! Patty! Over here! It's me, Jack. Kill me. Please.

Lord help her, Lily Winters Ashby will reportedly have a "mysterious dream". Let's guess: She finds a cure for cancer and makes so much money from it never has to work again. Oh wait! She's never had to work. Okay, how's this? She has a litter of beautiful seagulls and names the first born male, Cane. Oh wait! She already has a gullible male named Cane.

Speaking of sick, how about Ashley Newman planning to make a confession to dearly-beloved step-son Adam Wilson that she's going to tell hubby Victor everything? What an amazing development when the woman Ashley mowed down, Nikki Newman is found next week? How many times have you seen Nick Newman and his creepy sister hurl hate balls at their father when if it weren't for Victor these diaper-wearing adults would have nothing, or at the very least a massive medical bill Victoria Hellstrom would still be paying off if not for daddy's wealth.

How creepy too that Gloria Bardwell would want to work at a beauty salon? It has something to do with her and Jeff Bardwell's continued quest for more money than they know what to do with. Oh, in case you didn't notice, and I know you did, Jeff and Glo got away with another crime.

Then there's can't help herself Chloe Mitchell Ashby Abbott wanting Billy Abbott. Desperate woman this one, she needs a daddy for her baby and of course Billy is the best man for that job.

Did you know too that Sharon Collins has a secret? Another one? That Nick is the father of her unborn baby wasn't enough? Seems the aging slut has her sights on another man. Who the sucker is, isn't known. Hmm. Why does Nick keep appearing in this nightmare?

Ah, but here's the best part.

Amber Moore is related to Kevin Fisher and, by proxy, Michael Baldwin! Hey, no shit. That dude, Ryder's mother will soon appear with the news that Tom Fisher had two kids in a marriage prior to the one with Gloria. Mommy, a dead ringer for the original Patty, is Amber's mother too.

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