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by Brent Kellogg
 

Continued from previous page...

In a related development, how about that Michael Baldwin? Isn't it amazing that an all-purpose attorney has the ability to find judges willing to terminate - at the 11th hour - extradition orders? Isn't it something that the judge did not require the U.S. Attorney to be present during any meeting he/she had with Baldwin? Wasn't it kindly of the judge to move Lowell's case to federal court in Genoa City? Thank God you aren't, but if you were Lowell wouldn't you be impressed? Wouldn't you dump your hippy-dippy lawyer in exchange for the best lawyer in all of Genoa City?

You would, but not Lowell unless son Michael promised to believe in his innocence which Michael did and is overly excited to defend daddy pro bono when a few days ago he wanted nothing to do with Lowell. He pleaded with Lowell to accept the services of a "brilliant" attorney if not for himself, do it for Eden, because otherwise Lowell will rot in prison and cannot obtain one of those golden, get out of prison within 9-days, parachutes such that Phyllis Newman recently received. There can't be a Victor, or Gloria Abbott, putting pressure on the warden to free Lowell, or Eden tricking her imprisoned daddy to write a new will.

Speaking of Nick, here's a spoiled kid in need of a good spanking. Waa, waa! Daddy didn't read my letter. The letter is among a stack of unopened mail and daddy should have seen it. He may have smelled it, so why didn't he read it? Because Victor is grieving? Because he's scared to death that his diaper-wearing adult children want to put him in a nut house? Just because Nick grieved for weeks over a child not of his flesh and blood, he doesn't want Victor grieving the way he did? Nick, and that evil bitch, sister Victoria Hellstrom only want what's best for daddy? It's not true!

If they cared to send the very best, Nick and Victoria would have found Victor a real lawyer. With all his money and power, why Victor employs Michael defies logic as does Nick's wailing about that letter. When he had the chance to tell Victor what's in the letter, Nick pissed it away. Last week in daddy's hospital room, instead of threatening Victor with involuntary incarceration, Nick should have engaged in true confessions. How long would it have taken to say what he wrote in the letter? What would Victor think of a two-faced son standing before him puking love from one side of his big mouth while spewing hate from the other? Wherever he is now, Victor should call a real lawyer and have those kids evicted from the Ponderosa. Christ, how many times do you let someone stab you in the back before you say it hurts?

Firing up his pitchfork, when Nick found out daddy isn't missing but rather fled the God Have Mercy Medical Center out of fear for what his evil kids had done to him, Nick carefully adjusted the baby Jesus figurines on the mantle before turning to his satanic ways. Michael knows where Victor is and won't tell him? We'll just see about that. With the help of hunkmonkey J.T. Hellstrom, who only God knows why was allowed to stay on as head of Newman Security, Nick will hack into Michael's "data".

And if J.T. won't help, there's always Kevin Fisher. There's always some criminal in Genoa City pretending to be an upstanding pillar of the community willing to break the law. There is Katherine Chancellor telling her long-lost daughter Jill Abbott, "You've been a pain in my ass for years. Now you're getting what's coming to you. Payback is a bitch, isn't it?"

Apparently suffering from some form of dementia, Katherine, so worried about her empire, is happy to have her inexperienced at anything except maybe hunting kangaroo, getting tricked into unwanted marriages, and knocking creeps like Chloe Mitchell up, grandson Cane Ashby running the toxic chemical company, Jabot Cosmetics. When Jill rightfully says that Cane don't know shit about running a business, says she needs to look over his shoulder, perhaps to prevent Cane from launching an entire new line of skunk oils and skin creams, Katherine pulls the pain out of her ass? She overrides Jill's decision because Jabot is destined to fall, illegally, into Jack's hands?

I know, it's all a bit confusing for the everyday plebe, all this baffling business jargon and new fashion magazines dealing with a manpower shortage as its owners trip around town hurling hate balls at their husband's ex-wives and whining that daddy didn't read the letter. As always, it's best that you don't pay too much attention. Best you don't ponder too deeply how animals like Zapato the dog can said to be "happy" when his master up and left him again, or how the only other canine in this city got the name Fisher when Nikki didn't get the name Elsie. Then again, with piglets Nick and Victoria still breast feeding is there anything wrong with continuing to call Nikki the old cow? Or would pig be better?

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