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And I'm still not understanding what gives the Genoa City Police the right to allow members of the family to step foot on Victor's property when he left specifics instructions that nobody be allowed on the Ponderosa. I'm wondering what happened to the private security guy when Nikki, Nick and Victoria took it upon themselves to poke around in Victor's personal property. What state or local statute of law did the cop site that granted him the right to escort the boobs to the Ponderosa and is this what taxpayers get for their money?

Now that he knows Victor isn't missing/disappeared, now that attorney Michael Baldwin refuses to say where Victor is except that he's where he wants to be, Nick goes into criminal mode. He'll ask brother-in-law, hunkmonkey J.T. Hellstrom, if he can hack into Michael's "data" even though Nikki, bless her black heart, finally told the kids to let it go. There is nothing lower than messing with grief.

So, who decided that used to be a Newman, Sharon Abbott needed to tell rapidly aged teenager Noah Newman about his grandpa? Was used to be an Abbott, Phyllis Newman lying when she said Nick wanted Noah to be told? Had he been so worried, wouldn't Nick have called Noah? Doesn't Noah have a cellphone attached to his ass like all kids do? As Noah's step-mommy, why couldn't Phyllis tell him? When Sharon can't remember that Noah was out of school the day before, how can she be trusted to tell Noah anything factual?

And what was with the hissy fit Noah threw? Why wasn't he told earlier? Because the news was just getting around? Because it wasn't worthy of breaking news coverage? Saying she wanted to wait until Noah had "settled" down after a long day at school, Sharon plum forgot that the day before Noah was out of school thanks to a special "teachers day". Not that it mattered, once Noah found out he couldn't reach Victor the issue was dead. Noah has yet to learn that just anyone can drop by the God Have Mercy Medical Center. They can cause scenes in the halls and waiting rooms, they can enter patients rooms and harass them and bring weapons along if they wish.

When did Lauren Baldwin become George Bush? Or should that be Jana Fisher? Where did Lauren obtain the ability to look into Lowell Baldwin's soul and determine he didn't blow up a bank and kill the janitor? Was it the day she learned that angry teens visiting their locked up daddies get hungry and yearn for something to eat with maple syrup on it? Moreover, where did Michael find at the eleventh hour a judge with the ability to set aside extradition orders? It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Lowell is white - would it? A black man in Lowell's shoes would have be lynched already.

Lastly today, there's some question as to how in such short time Adam Wilson and Jack made it from Mexico to Wisconsin and New York respectively. The answer is simple. They flew on We Fly You Anywhere Airlines. With flights to anywhere leaving in about an hour, WFYAA is notorious for getting passengers to their destinations in record time. Back when the Ponderosa was a good hour away from the airport, Cole Howard called for a flight, was told one was leaving "in about an hour", packed his stuff and made it to the airport with time to spare.

Coming tomorrow: Why I call Nikki Newman Chow a fat cow and it has nothing to do with her love for food.

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