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by Brent Kellogg
September 12, 2008

It occurred to me on Wednesday, that with the please-remember-the-tragedy of 911 coming around again, I'd scream if anyone in Genoa City made some patronizing mention of this as if they'd gone around waving flags and declared themselves patriots when they are nothing but a pack of morally corrupt thieves. Thankfully, there was no jingoism and for a moment there I thought Jill Abbott would have unleashed a tirade on the government for sending that SEC agent over to raid the offices of Jabot Cosmetics looking for God knows what as I'm sure that if David Chow left behind signs of insider trading it wouldn't be in Jill's office.

Nevertheless, the SEC blew in, was shown where to look by CEO Cane Ashby, and poked around as Cane pondered what must be done to prevent Jabot shareholders from selling their stock. If it weren't so sad, it would be funny how no matter the issue, there's always the rush to do "damage control", issue press releases, or hold press conferences when the reality is that anyone aware of how poorly run Jabot is would have dumped this company long ago. There was in fact, according to Jack Abbott, published reports of Jabot stock in "free fall" so whatever Ashby did apparently had no impact. Regardless, learning that at Cane's insistence Jill stepped down as Chancellor Industries CEO, CE owner Katherine Chancellor bestowed upon Cane the title "leader".

Some leader. Cane didn't bother to check with Katherine to see if Jill's stepping down might be seen as an admission of guilt. He did whine that the Wall Street Journal published a scathing editorial about what's happening. And what's happening is what exactly? That Jill was supposed to know ex-employee Chow had an addiction? While Chow was once employed at Newman Enterprises there's no concern that company wasn't equally compromised? Shouldn't the SEC be poking around over there too?

If you weren't already laughing, it must have been a real hoot when coffee shop owner Kevin Fisher would later say that files at his Jabot office (on the executive floor) were under subpoena and he asked recently ousted Newman Enterprises CEO Brad Carlton, what on earth was going on? Yeah, what is going on? Why would Jabot continue to employ Kevin and why doesn't he ever go to the office except for when his mother needs computers there hacked into?

Because he telecommutes! Not only that, now that he and brother Michael Baldwin have put one over on the SEC, he's thinking about quitting so as to spend more time with his crazy wife.

And what a meeting with the SEC it was. Told of the meeting only twenty minutes before it was to start, Kevin asked if he should wear a tie. According to Michael, it couldn't hurt, and it just so happens Kevin keeps one at the JJ for "corporate emergencies". On top of that, we learned this week that Kevin's Jitter Joint isn't turning a profit. Could it be customers are tired of the rude barrister, or the seedy clientele, or the Ouija boards being burned in the wastebasket? Given Kevin's history, and that of his cold-blooded killing wife, might customers worry they'll be locked in the freezer and the JJ set afire?

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Brent's coffee courtesy of Speeder & Earls, Burlington, VT.