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by Brent Kellogg
Brent's morning
coffee courtesy of Speeder &
Earls, Burlington, VT.
September 4, 2008
After what happened yesterday, are you confused?
When were Nick Newman and Victoria Hellstrom ever on
the Newman Enterprises Board of Directors? Granted,
this company's hierarchy is one of the strangest
anywhere, but according to new CEO Brad Carlton,
Nick and Victoria will be one of the first to go as
he restructures NE's board so as to avoid any "petty
family jealousies destabilizing the company."
What the hell does Nick have to do with NE? Isn't he
publishing the slimy Useless Style Magazine? If she
was on the board, when Victoria recently quit,
wouldn't she have been off the board too? Is this
one of those slight of hand deals where the employee
quits, comes back and everything is how it was? When
Victoria got the axe following the reading of her
daddy's will, wouldn't that have ended all ties to
the company? Never mind why she cleaned her junk out
of daddy's office saying it was the last time she'd
ever see the place, and later was back in Victor's
office, Brad didn't want to hold a press conference
to announce what has to be a major power shakeup?
Won't shareholders panic? With a loser like Brad
running the empire, wouldn't you have sold your
stock long ago? But get this, as if we needed proof
that indeed there is a corporate media, Brad has a
local reporter in his pocket! The reporter will feed
pre-scripted questions to new head cheese Victor
Adam Newman and VAN will respond accordingly
pertaining to the termination of #2 guy, Neil
Winters.
Surely, once Neil is reinstated, if any of the
shareholders has a brain, he/she will get far away
from this unstable company. Okay, maybe that's not
enough to have NE stock downgraded to sell, VAN's
announcement that NE will "expand" and introduce new
products and revamp others, including it's toxic
chemical "Newman Infinity", should have been the
last straw. What exactly are the other products? And
why did VAN have to tell the, ahem, reporter that
he's changed his name? Wasn't there a press
conference recently at which that announcement was
made? Is no one listening?
That was almost as crazy as Nick and his box of
rocks for a brain wife forgetting that they'd
already talked with son Noah about his attending
public school. More on that in a moment. Let's first
analyze Jack Abbott's meeting with VAN in the great
Victor's office.
We Harvard men have to stick together? Does this
explain why Jack must do everything at Useless Style
Magazine? He's out selling ad space, he's begging
VAN to push NI in USM again, he's in charge of
printing and publishing and writing articles too?
Outside Phyllis Newman, and the would write if she
only knew how Sharon Abbott, where are USM's other
writers? It doesn't have any? USM is "the fastest
growing magazine in the business"? Is Jack out of
his freaking mind? Right now, in America, magazine
sales suck. Fashion readers are not interested in
reading about Victor Newman's successor, or who the
hell Sabrina Newman slept with before she was
married, or any of the shit ideas Jack keeps coming
up with.
While he knows better than to piss away money, VAN
cut a deal. He is NE's destiny; it's vision; he
alone will bring NE into the 21st century because he
is "the future of Newman Enterprises".
While Jack was busy typing away, and later learned
that Victor isn't dead, and that an article about
VAN would most likely bomb, he planned to rush it
right out. Easy to do when your monthly magazine
publishes weekly. Also at USM, the teenage Noah
dropped by because this soccer-playing,
skateboard-riding, you name the sport he plays it,
had nothing better to do than ask how half-wit
step-brother Daniel Romalotti likes working with the
very "hot" Amber Moore.
Unless she's walking around with her teats hanging
out, I'm not buying that a 15-year-old is interested
in any girl especially an old dog like Amber. I
nearly lost my lunch when Daniel offered to show
this boy how to seduce babes. I'm surprised Daniel
didn't invite Noah over to the penthouse to let him
watch how a girlie boy has sex. What I'd really like
to know is who showed Noah how to masturbate and why
Noah wouldn't rather be doing that then hanging
around a magazine.
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