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by Brent Kellogg
Brent's morning coffee courtesy of Speeder & Earls, Burlington, VT.

September 3, 2008

Everyone who thinks the Daniel Romalotti/Amber Moore love/hate thing is hot, raise your hands. That's what I thought. Why are these two still in Genoa City? What purpose do they serve? End of Summer sex for love-starved teenage voyeurs to get off on? Does it compensate for Daniel's porn addiction? Is there supposed to be something exciting about a young boy having sex with an older, divorced woman with two kids who at one time was doing Cane Ashby? Not that Daniel is one, does a man get excited at the thought of his pecker being in a place where other men have gone before?

I hate to be gross, but these two make me want to give up sex forever. The situation is made worse by Daniel also having the hots for blowup doll Colleen Carlton, the little girl who let a college professor do her in the classroom. Again, Daniel's in there for the sloppy seconds and thirds. What happened to his hen scratching show in New York City? Shouldn't Daniel be present at the gallery, or he, um, sticking around to observe how his mentor handles her much younger husband?

Of course, that would be Phyllis Newman, who for some reason isn't at Nick Newman's side now that Nick's daddy is thought to be dead and he's received a talking letter from the dearly departed. Dubbed the greatest dad a kid could have, maybe Phyllis knows Nick too well. She may not want to be slapped around like Heather Stevens was this week when Victor Adam Newman caught her reading his letter. Perhaps having Sharon Abbott soothe Nick's aching heart is a sign that the time is overdue for Phyllis to go back to Jack Abbott, and Sharon can go back to Nick as it was meant to be.

Nick and Sharon are the waiting in the wings Victor Newman and Nikki Chow. Told he's a better dad than his dad, Nick may be thinking he needs to live up to that expectation by taking Sharon back, and with her their son, Noah. With Noah so wanting to be like his grandpa, they could be the perfect family values example. If she had a brain, Sharon could get the Abbott Estate in a divorce settlement and they could live in a home of their own. Living in the Abbott home wouldn't be weird because the Newmans and the Abbotts already swap places of business almost as often as they swap partners.

Back with his family, Noah would have bragging rights too. He could tell his soccer buddies that the days of getting ridiculed and beat up on the playground - because members of his family were embroiled in scandal - are over. Noah could say, see? Rich people have values too. I'm not an unwanted child. I'm just like you. I attend crappy public schools. I go hunting and fishing with my Pa. My daddy isn't too tired at the end of the day to spend time with his son.

Yep, Noah's one lucky kid. In the trenches with his less fortunate middle-class buds, Noah won't in a few years need to say that Jack was like a father to him. Unlike Michael Baldwin, he won't be wondering where his father is. He won't be married to the oldest slut in Genoa City, or worry that the little woman is trying to reach his daddy at some California hippie commune only to be told that "River" up and left without leaving a forwarding address.

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