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by Brent Kellogg
October 20, 2009
Watching clips of movies I have no desire to see and
tripping over the creepy trailer for "The Crazies,"
a remake of an old horror flick about a small
American town whose citizens begin falling into
murderous madness and start slicing and dicing each
other with axes and pitchforks, I thought, gosh, is
this Genoa City with better dialog?
This is the persistent slap to our collective
intelligence as out of the blue, and we knew it
would, Useless Style Magazine returned with a
vengeance. Did you notice how suddenly Chloe Abbott
had a role assisting publisher Phyllis Newman when
neither has been at the rag for months? On the rag,
that's different.
Did you see Phyllis running around with her head cut
off? Truly horrific, there was a new issue of USM to
get out and by golly Jack Abbott was there with a
last minute Jabot ad change to reflect that Jabot
Cosmetics is in someway proud of the fact it
supports organ donation and urges those who use its
toxic chemicals to do the same because, well,
they'll be dead soon. Sooner if former employee
Gloria Fisher Bardwell is allowed to return to
concoct special skin screams and at the rate things
are going that could very well be.
An aside, have you ever in your life heard of a
husband leaving his wife's side only days after the
loss of her "baby girl"? If Traci Abbott Connelly
was my fat wife I'd probably leave her too, but what
the hell was Steve Connelly thinking? Christ, the
bawling that she'll never "heal" Traci had just come
from Colleen Carlton's grave and already Steve had
left Traci to catch a plane back to New York by her
lonesome.
As for healing, here's a newsflash. She will heal.
Give her a week and Colleen will be a distant memory
as it already has for brother Jack who is suddenly
focused on the new life that Faith Newman is; a
child the not being around to comfort her faux
grieving sister Ashley Newman is having christened
and out visiting a priest God did not strike her
sorry ass dead. Painful as it is, think about this.
Forget that the baby isn't Ashley's, the bitch had
the gall to take the child away from its father only
days after birth. Is this not cruel and unusual?
Does this pretty much sum of the catch phase "we are
family"?
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