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Commentary by Brent Kellogg

October 16, 2009

Have you ever wondered what the post office must think of Noah Newman? The poor boy is constantly in there submitting change of address forms. Not that he's ever seen opening mail, or gets any, if grandma Nikki Newman had written him when she was in Colorado where would she have sent the letter? And where is that boy's dog, Fisher? Hasn't anyone noticed the dog hasn't been seen since Noah moved out of the Abbott mansion. Even Jack Abbott hasn't mentioned that for all the "grief" his ex wife has been going through, Sharon Collins never turned to the dog for comfort. Okay, so she's got two other dogs for that, but if the IRS was trying to track Noah down it would have a hard time tracking him down. Not that Noah pays taxes, for a teenager wanting emasculation from his parents has he considered the implication of having to find employment?

Noah could always apply for Billy Abbott's job at Jabot Cosmetics. Not clear what the job entails, nobody at the company has seemed to notice Billy hasn't been at his desk in months. For anyone knows Billy is at a Scrabble seminar. Can you believe that anyone in the city has the brain capacity to come up with words containing more than four letters? Bet Sharon's brain would explode if she tried more than three. And does anyone know where the Scrabble game came from? Did Chloe Abbott bring it to the "family" cabin? Wasn't her plan to take Chance Chancellor up there to break his cherry? The kid, known now as "Detective Do Right", is a virgin. You knew that, right? A tour of duty in Iraq and he's yet to have sex - with a woman, but he's become a police detective at the ripe old age of twenty one.

For as creepy as Billy is, he got it right this week when he said Chance would probably spend himself in roughly sixty seconds with Chloe. How cute it was for Chance to defend Chloe's "honor". Here's a woman who tricked Cane Ashby into thinking he was the father of her child being hailed as a woman deserving to be treated with respect. This was almost as laughable as Amber Moore telling Daniel Romalotti she'll do anything to prove she loves him. How many times has Daniel kicked her to the curb only to take her sorry ass back? See, misery loves company.

Then again, perhaps Gloria Bardwell beats them both given how she's doing all the dirty work while Jeff Bardwell sits back hoping to profit from her crime only to have another caper blow up in their faces because she was dumb enough to turn that stolen postage stamp painting over to Demon Sharpe. You must have loved how that went down. One minute Demon was saying he needed to have the painting checked out by an art expert and the next Victoria Hellstrom was in his hotel suite with said expert. The painting legit, what Gloria got back was a fake. Oh, the horror!

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