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by Brent Kellogg
October 12, 2009
Are you having one of those days? One of those
moments where you feel like you've endured a simply relentless onslaught of
negative vibes and mental hardship connected to endless rounds of cretinous
morons - all of whom think it's fun to cremate dead babies and not know when
they give birth - because they're all sick and crazy to the point where you
say, you know what? I need just one more really good, depressing item to put
me over the edge, ruin my entire month, a yarn so vicious and disheartening
I immediately start yelling at the walls for no real reason and refuse to
smile at anyone because they're complicit in making my life a miserable
hellpit.
Why, honey, have I got just what you need. Not one yarn, a veritable sheep
farm of slaughtered lamb you should never eat because KFC is cheap and easy,
like Sharon Collins or Chance Chancellor. Gotta love Chance, such a handsome
boy and the best he can find in a woman is that douche bag Chloe Abbott. I
mean, Jesus. The woman is still legally married to Billy Abbott, totes
around his baby, and Chance gets erect for her?
Why hasn't anyone asked Noah Newman where he was when his grandma was
clinging to life? WTF is the kid doing now whining that he's lost another
sister? Not that Noah knows it, he didn't lose anything. The "sister" lives
on through its surrogate, his grandpa's creepy wife. Nice to see though that
Noah's daddy got something right. Nick Newman praised the boy for being more
of a man than he was at Noah's age. Now, if only God would give Nick another
miracle nothing would please his greedy ass more. What a good boy Noah is
too for offering to take his half-sister, Summer, to a park. Holy shit! Does
he not know what happened the last time Summer went to the park? Does anyone
understand the "progress" Summer made while in the Swiss Alps? Is this child
not having the damndest time with the simplest of words?
And please, someone slap Ashley Newman and her brother for harping on the
"miracle of birth". Children don't ask to be born into Genoa City. If those
two buzzards meant it's a "miracle" the never was pregnant Ashley gave
birth, then yes, it's a freaking miracle. What's with Ashley's change of,
um, heart? Didn't she say she was going back to the nut house to get her
masters degree in crazy? Now she's talking about going back to work? Isn't
Jabot Cosmetics doing fine without her? Think of the money Jabot could save
by getting rid of her, and Jack Abbott who hasn't been seen at Jabot in
months. God knows Billy Abbott quit the toxic chemical company, but who will
miss him? What did Billy do there?
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