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Why your support matters

by Brent Kellogg
Continued from previous page...

Running into Amber Moore at the Jitter Joint, the Professor reveals that the university dean won't give him tenure unless he becomes a published author. Recall if you will, Gerbil was an art teacher. Since when has any university required that any of its faculty become authors in order to keep their jobs? But you see? It doesn't matter. Amber has the solution to his problem. Dare I ask too, doesn't it matter that Gerbil and Moore doesn't exactly know each other? Is this one of those relationships going on behind the scenes like when Katherine Chancellor said today that her maid and the Newman slave used to date?

Maybe in Katherine's wildest fantasies, Miguel Rodriguez and Ether Valentine never dated. Katherine must have confused Ether with whack job Sarah the maid who once worked with Miguel at the ranch until she was exposed, and impaled, as Dr. Josh Landers' crazy ex-wife. In a piss-poor attempt to tidy up some poor writing, Nikki and Victor and others today talked about the not seen in years Miguel leaving town for good. Why would he do that?

To care for a sick parent? A sick child?

His Aunt has diabetes!

Have you ever heard of such a thing? I mean, diabetes so bad that Auntie Fajita must need around the clock care? Auntie has no other family? If, as they claimed today, Miguel was "like family", why didn't the Newman's throw a going away party for him? How about a gold watch? Fast thinking Nikki beat her clan to the punch. For years there's been an old wind-up clock at the ranch. Each and every day Miguel has had to wind it. Who will wind it now? Miguel! Nikki's packing it up and sending it to him. I'm guessing, but I'd bet the last thing Miguel wants to see is that damn clock he had to wind each day because the Newman's were to lazy to buy a 30-day clock, or one that runs on batteries.

Finally, did you witness Sharon Abbott's steel trap of a mind at work? Learning that the woman living on her property may have "poisoned" Jeff Bardwell with Tabasco sauce, Sharon demanded her husband take action to provide for their security by having more security cameras installed! I swear, you can't make this shit up. After all they've been through with Gloria Bardwell, adding more cameras is gonna protect them? Didn't they learn anything? What is wrong with these people? Oh, but thank God, Noah Newman is going to Summer Camp. If they plan it just right, maybe Neil Winters will fly Noah away on the jet he forgot he no longer owns just minutes before Gloria is about to spike Noah's cinnamon roll. Whew!

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