by Brent Kellogg Brent's morning
coffee courtesy of Speeder &
Earls, Burlington, VT.
June 3, 2008
Another day, another reason for us to be pissed off.
Gloria Bardwell can't help herself. She's a
psychotic killer. Let's call her the Wisconsin
Psycho. Not on a par with American Psycho, Gloria's
death toll includes only Emma Gibson. But it's not
for a lack of trying that more haven't died at her
hand. Now we hear she'll be sending former husband
Jeff Bardwell to the hospital.
Typical in Genoa City, people who hate each other
patronize places where their enemies are known to
frequent. Employed at the Jitter Joint, Gloria will
be confronted by Jeff while she's on the job. Unable
to turn the other cheek, Gloria will get even with
Jeff by spiking his coffee with Tabasco sauce.
So, you might be saying, what's the big deal?
The deal is that Jeff is allergic to hot peppers.
Who knew? His reaction will be so dire as to require
emergency treatment at the God Have Mercy Medical
Center. Unfortunately, it would appear Jeff survives
as he tells Jill Abbott it's not the first time
Gloria has poisoned someone, although there is some
question as to whether Tabasco sauce can be
considered a poison.
The way Gloria manages to worm her way out of
trouble, she'll probably claim it was an innocent
mistake and no criminal charges will be filed. After
all, last week her dufus son put ice cream in a
customer's coffee by mistake. Never mind that ice
cream isn't routinely sold by most coffee shops,
this one incident of piss-poor service will result
in slumping JJ sales and you can already hear owner
Kevin Fisher whining that it's all his mother's
fault as he ponders whether to give Gloria her
walking papers.
And if she's fired, Gloria will bounce back again.
Recall that Jill's decision to fire Gloria from
Jabot Cosmetics has been overruled and with Jack
Abbott sucking on the pity Gloria teat, if Nikki
Chow doesn't reinstate Gloria it'll be a freaking
miracle. Recall too that Kevin remains on the Jabot
payroll, so if the JJ goes belly-up he's got a job
to fall back on too.
While we're on the topic of nepotism, could it be
just once that an elite resident of Genoa City earn
something on their own? Could Lily Winters have
actually gone to modeling school for a few years
before becoming a much sought after model such that
a top-notch agency named Apex in New York would
agree to even see her when Lily's claim to fame is a
new fashion magazine which scrubbed her from its
cover?
Why did it have to be today that lover boy Cane
Ashby had to ask, "Does she [Lily] have what it
takes [modeling expertise]? If not, what can I do to
make it happen?"
Please do tell. How does a girl with no college
degree get to become a fashion model? No, not the
models appearing in the local Wal-Mart ad, this
city's elite never start at the bottom. They start
at the top and work their way down. We've seen this
time and again, most recently when Daniel Romalotti,
developing an interest in photography, barely
knowing how to operate a point and shoot camera,
became the "official" photographer for his faux
daddy's rock and roll band after only two or three
weeks as a photo inspector - or whatever the hell he
was - at his mother's magazine.
It's one thing for Cane to pull strings for Lily,
but why can't those strings be sticky? Imagine a
scenario where whoever controls the strings is a gay
man. In exchange for making Lily a star, Cane must
have sex with the man. How badly would Cane want to
help Lily then?
