Please visit this merchant

More Stores

Shop the GCN/Amazon Store
Best Sellers

by Brent Kellogg
July 22, 2008

I admit to bafflement. I admit to a bit of total confusion mixed with a certain level of stupefied awe and teeth-rattling frustration as to why anyone with the mental acuity of a housefly would think that Victor Newman could call the CEO's of companies advertising in his castaway son's magazine and without explanation demand they pull said ads.

The conversation went something like this:

"How's your golf game, Fred? I don't really give a damn that you play the world's dumbest game which is not a sport, I'm making small talk. I want you to pull your ads from Useless Style. Never mind why, I have my reasons. You got that? You will be well compensated so don't give me any shit. Just do it. Yes, three others have already bowed to my demands."

As if it was more than the equivalent of hurling matches at the devil, Victor also informed his new bride that he's cut his diaper-wearing adult children Nick and Victoria out of the will. While he expects to live to be one hundred, in the event he can't control life and death, without telling Sabrina to stop thinking everything is about her, Victor said scrubbing the kids is merely a lesson to be learned: Nobody disses the great Victor Newman without serious consequence.

And so it was that today, when Nick came crawling with the key to the Ponderosa tackyroom where some of the city's largest rats have lived and still do, Sabrina had to ask if Nick had come to apologize for running that horrendous, has reporters attacking her at the local coffee shop, has people asking how she can show her face in public, article about her.

No, Nick hadn't come for that reason. He'd come to turn in his key.

Idiot that he is, Nick whimpered that Daddy was punishing him again, and be that as it may, what Nick thought Victor should be more concerned about is that his granddaughter, Summer Newman, will be ripped away from the only home she's ever known. Unfortunately, Victor didn't ask what would make Nick say such a thing about a three-year-old who has no perception of where she lives so long as someone feed her and changes the diapers. It's not like Summer is out frolicking around the Ponderosa, she's yet to be given a horse of her own. Even later, packing his crap before he's found a place to move, Nick said home is wherever his wife and child are as Phyllis puked that Nick can't leave the place where he has "years and years" worth of memories, and yet said she wouldn't mind living in a "loft" near the magazine.

A loft? What about her penthouse? Why does Phyllis continue allowing Amber Moore to live there? Given that she'd love nothing more than to make Amber's life miserable, wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to get rid of Amber? Nope. Phyllis wants to move her kid to a stinky loft. And what of Nick's concern that Summer have a place with a yard despite that Summer never goes out of the house? Phyllis said there are lots of parks near whatever loft they might find. Oh, that's rich. She might as well have Summer playing in the street.

Sparing you the details, let's simply say that Phyllis was right. Nick has lots of memories at the Ponderosa, like the one when he was riding a bike with training wheels that when Victor finally approved taking the wheels off it was the first time daddy was "proud" of his son. Talk about gag me with a spoon dialog, perhaps there's some dark, secret genius behind Victor's otherwise imbecilic landlord-whore move, but if Nick and his family must leave the Ponderosa, shouldn't Victoria and her hunkmonkey have their asses kicked too? Once the freeloaders have gone, wouldn't it be a good idea to tear those shacks down? Why would rich kids want to live in such dumps so near the man they hate anyway?

As Victor actually stood there with a straight face and tried to imply that this insidious move was meant to impart something good and helpful, you could actually see the kiddies with their hands shoved up his weak little colon, making his mouth move. "I'm a bad ass. Nobody messes with Victor Newman. In a few days I will order that the children be reinstated and they know it. Something so tragic will happen that we Newman's will come together again as a family, and you know how many times I've said that nobody can tear the Newman's apart."

To that end, thanks to that bitch Sabrina, who after today I can't wait for her die, who kept at Victor not to do something he'll regret because family is so important, and with Victor saying how lucky he is to have been given a "second chance" at fatherhood, when being a father to Adam Wilson was the "second" chance and Abby Carlton the third, the old fart told Nick he doesn't have to move after all. Because he's always been an angry child, Nick told Victor to shove it, that he's moving out anyway, but you watch. Nick won't go anywhere because these I'm going to teach my children who the boss is lessons are exercises in futility.

Oh, we fully understand the arguments. Nick and Victoria need to be taught a lesson. Asking Victor why he can't stop contradicting himself is like asking a snake why he wants to sink his fangs into a juicy rat. It is, quite simply, what he does.

More

Please visit this merchant