Corner Stores
 
More Stores
GCN/Amazon Store
Best
Sellers |
|
by Brent Kellogg
Brent's morning
coffee courtesy of Speeder &
Earls, Burlington, VT.
July 16, 2008
Let's see, the theme here last week was edge of your
seat drama, and this week it's looking like the
theme is tired old plot reruns because look what
we've got.
Sabrina and Victor Newman seemed surprised that the
article they thought Professor Gerbil wrote about
her wasn't the same as the article appearing in
Useless Style Magazine. True, they read an advanced
copy of the article, it passed their scrutiny,
Sabrina even called the Professor a "professional"
writer, and Victor was pleased despite his suspicion
that the Professor is not to be trusted.
The tip that something was wrong came today
following Victor's return from an early morning walk
during which he watched the sun rise. The phone
ringing, Victor told the caller he liked the article
and it's true that Sabrina introduced him to modern
art. Why else would he have built the art gallery?
Funny thing though, the caller thought he'd be
critical of the article. So why was that? Did Victor
ask the caller to stop talking in riddles? Nope.
There was only one way
to find out. Conjure up one of his imaginary slaves
and send him to the corner store to fetch a copy of
the magazine. Surely the Mom & Pop market would
one.
Sure enough, Victor soon held a copy in his hot
little hand. Oh my god! The article is a hatchet
job. Must. Read. Aloud. The part where it reads
there's a "rift in the Newman family". The horror!
My darling, why aren't you crying? Oh, you are. None
of it's true? Why would the Professor write such a
thing? It's not like the Professor? Who is it like?
Jack Abbott? Yes, but it's worse than that. Victor
is in utter disappointment that his two kids were
involved. Oh my, how could Nick Newman and Victoria
Hellstrom do such a thing? It's not like they've
hated the old man for years.
Acutely aware that Victor doesn't like USM publisher
Jack, aware that she and publisher Nick's sister
were embroiled in a heated hate fest at the time,
Sabrina never thought that anyone at the rag would
do a hatchet job on her. If you'd told her six
months ago that anything like this could happen,
Sabrina wouldn't have believed it.
Now, parts of Sabrina's shady past is in print.
Never mind that USM doesn't have a wide-ranging
reader base, or that most readers know little or
nothing about art, or the woman named in the
article, and could give a rip about some sexual
tryst she may have engaged in, the article is most
shocking. It will surpass the ghastly New Yorker's
satirical cover outrage by pundits who don't have
the intellect to read the New Yorker.
More |
|
Please visit this merchant |
