Miguel Rodriguez, always the faithful servant, was
performing his duties at the Newman ranch hauling
trays loaded with red meat to be burnt to a crisp on
the grill and baby-sitting the smart-mouthed Newman
brat, Cassie. Although the little snot was simmering
with hatred toward her mother and dying to get away
from the ranch for just a day, Cassie did not go
into town with her half-brother and grandpa to watch
the parade.
For Rodriguez it was just another day watching from
afar as the likes of Nikki Newman slapped the
tragically shameless Sharon Newman right across her
butt with a leather whip for stunning a good
Christian like Nikki into disbelief and abject
terror by wearing "The World's Smallest Bikini."
Sharon's mother, BoreUs Collins couldn't attend the
gala but it was said she might roll her ass out to
the ranch after attending the church picnic if the
slave could be spared long enough to make the
one-hour drive each way into town to fetch her.
And no pool party at the ranch would be complete
without someone totally unexpected dropping by.
Fortunately that year the Newman's didn't have to
haul total strangers off the street. They had Jitter
Joint manager Cody Dixon, hot for just one-minute
with Victoria Newman between his legs, stop by to
ask about the troubled Newman marriage and say how
he so hoped Nick and Sharon Newman could forget that
she shoved her tongue down grandpa Newman's throat.
Perhaps most shocking of all was that Chancellor
mausoleum slave Ether Valentine - apparently as a
way to get back at her employer for having to spend
the holiday sitting with an invalid - dressed stroke
victim Katherine Chancellor up in some godforsaken
outfit donated by Lauren Fenmore and then tied a
balloon shaped in the form of a star with an
American flag emblazoned on it to the poor woman's
wheelchair! For once in recent memory, Jill had the
good sense to tell Valentine to stop treating the
old woman like some patriotic circus act similar to
Larry 'Wartman' Warton who showed up dressed as
Uncle Sam.
At the soon to be burned to the ground RoadKill
Cafe, Phyllis Abbott hurled hate balls at Dru
Winters and vice-versa while Victor introduced a
terrorist-looking dude, his wife and kid, to Jack
noting that the man - dressed in traditional garb -
would be teaching at Genoa City University. The
professor from war-torn poor Jordan did hint that
it's a good thing he's in Wisconsin and not Texas
where Muslin looking people are kidnapped and
tortured just for looking foreign and don't have
shotguns in the rear windows of their pickup trucks.
Like so many other Fourth of July's before it, this
one ended with RoadKill Cafe owner Gina Roma singing
what Victor said was his favorite tune, America the
Beautiful!
Glasses shattered and windows cracked as Roma wailed
and patrons gorging themselves on crispy fried rat
carcass joined in. They crowned thy good with
brotherhood while they could because the next day it
was back to full-scale hatred of thy fellow man
as usual.
