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by Brent Kellogg
Another week in Genoa City comes to an end and what
did we learn? That it's okay to cheat on your
husband, but not okay for him to cheat on you. That
there are two types of justice in this city. Oops,
we already knew that. That you can get hit by a car
while a pedestrian on the main road in and out of
the Newman Ponderosa, that with so many people and
going, not one will see you laying alongside the
roadway. Furthermore, you can, while injured, crawl
and claw your way in the mud to safety and all the
while it will take at least a week before a single
member of your loving family notices you haven't
checked in. Even your so-called best friend won't
think it odd she hasn't heard from you. If your sister happens to be the resident nut job, if she claims to be pregnant and you can't see that she's with child, never fear. If said sister won't leave her husband as you've demanded, call one of any number of judges in your pocket or otherwise arrange that a court-ordered psychiatric exam be conducted. If sister objects an hour later when you've obtained the order, throw a hissy fit. Tell sister it's killing you watching her decline and learning that she talks with the dead do not confuse this with when you talk to the dead. There is always the do as I say, not as I do, policy to fall back on.
If your sister happens to be crazy, if she's been in
and out of the Ponderosa more often than its owner,
if she's murdered the family pet and done harm to
others such that the entire city seems to be living
in fear of her striking again, if she's kidnapped
you at knife point, because family always takes
precedent, do not hesitate to seek help for her.
Find a friendly church and seek sanctuary. If your
traveling freak show godly brother isn't around, say
he was called out of town suddenly before going on "live" TV to plea for
sister's freedom. Don't worry either if there's more
important news to be covered, the local TV station
will break into breaking news if it has to in order
to break your news. |
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