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by Brent Kellogg
August 17, 2009

Are you still trying to get it off your body? That sticky, disquieting, genital-shriveling creepiness that makes dogs regurgitate and the likes of Sharon Collins shudder and rush out to where her ex lives with his new family so that she might pass along the good news that she's entering an insane asylum? What sane woman would do this?

Then again, what sound family has a five-year-old with learning difficulties brought on by the ingestion of peanut spit? "What did you say is the matter with this child?", a school teacher meeting Summer Newman for the first time might ask the child's parents and then question why Nick and Phyllis Newman haven't taken Summer to a professional, preferring instead home schooling such that Nick teaches Summer the alphabet when he has the education of a caveman.

How nice too that the lady of the house allows the ex to drop by without calling, or instructing security to please detain the bitch while deciding if this is a good time to deal with more of Sharon's sniveling low self esteem.

You can't expect a caveman to have similar concerns, however. Nick just can't understand Sharon's situation, or why she'd say being institutionalized will be a "nice break" during which she hopes to reflect and take inventory. It's not a spa and resort Sharon is going to, is it?

Isn't she supposed to be evaluated for possible further prosecution for her crimes? Is there a new plan in Genoa City justice where the District Attorney's Office hands out invites to those caught breaking the law? Here's the deal, Mrs. Abbott, or Newman, or what's your last name this week? You agree to spend thirty days at a resort and we'll drop all charges? Deal? Now, now, young Noah. Your mommy is going to a funny farm. Yes, it's funny that she gets off so easily, but hey, we are funny people. Look at you, Noah. Are you back to living with Nick and Phyllis, or is this the week you spend with grandpa Victor whose back you were planning a few days ago to stick a knife?

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