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Commentary
by Brent Kellogg
August 5, 2009
Drunk on his ass, Jack Abbott had to be poured by
his town drunk brother Billy onto an Abbott mansion
sofa and no sooner had Billy departed but what Jack
thought he saw, smelled would be more accurate,
Sharon the Slut and in a drunken stupor managed to
develop a boner and put the pork to Patty Williams.
This, of course, is too much when a sober man in his
sixties has a hard enough time obtaining and
maintaining his love stick. Even three sheets to the
wind, a normal drunk knows who he's screwing except
in Genoa City the likes of Nick Newman and Cane
Ashby don't know from one woman to the next because
they've got bitches lined up to be serviced. It's a
regular Jiffy Lube with these old timers.
More than satisfied, changed back into homeless
garb, Patty rushed back to Mac Browning's bar to
tell how she'd just reconciled with a former husband
and it was this that tipped Mac to the possibility
that there's something "weird" about Patty. And for
all Mac's effort to recruit for the local shelter,
like shelters need the business or something, why
isn't Mac out on the street doing this more often?
Why all the goodie-2-shoes talk about helping the
homeless, unless, you think any of these rich people
really give a shit about the homeless? Of course
they don't. If they did, Newman Enterprises and
Jabot Cosmetics would be creating jobs and homes for
these people instead of coaxing them into
overcrowded shelters.
Off the beaten path a but, consider Lauren Baldwin's
good deed this week when she arranged for Amber
Moore to move into the Baldwin condom and said
she'll be crashing in attorney Michael Baldwin's
"home office" which you know is his only office
'cause Michael hasn't been seen at the law offices
of Blair and Baldwin in years, nor has PI Paul
Williams since he rented out the broom closet.
Remember that? Sure you do. This is what passes for
the best PI in all the land. A guy with barely a pot
to piss in, and yet the PI everyone turns to when
they need someone found, or credit card transactions
searched, or laws broken.
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