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by Brent Kellogg
August 25, 2008

Who knew that Victor Newman wasn't dead? Everyone?

Who knew that Nikki Chow would stroll along the beach, Victor would appear, and they'd probably fall to their knees and praise God?

Won't it be a miracle? Won't it be something that without a body, without waiting for the ocean to give up its dead, Victor's death certificate will be issued? Remember we were told that this time rumors of Victor's death would be "different"?

What's different about it? What will have changed when Victor returns to Genoa City and his spoiled brats are shocked by the letters daddy thought to mail them? What will happen when Nick Newman and Victoria Hellstrom learn that outcast brother Victor Adam Newman ousted Neil Winters without legal authority?

If you can tolerate the madness, think about it. Boat sets sail. Boat tries to escape storm, but doesn't. Boat found washed ashore, but no Victor. Grieving former wife drifts along beach and there he is! Was it all a dream that a fat cow - told by Victor he'd like to see her on a slab at the morgue - would today admit that Victor chose his dead wife because she was young and "thin" and then blame herself for the death of Sabrina Newman?

Would an old recovering alcoholic cow who has been told repeatedly how "strong" she is, what a savvy business woman she is, and she herself saying she'd destroy Victor, really be drinking and bawling that she can't go on if living is without him? In any Mexican fishing village during this exact moment would there be the Spanish version of Nikki's and Victor's "song" be playing so as to further antagonize her distraught mindset?

Did PI Paul Williams leave behind his satellite phone for Nikki to make so many calls during a storm, or is Mexican Can & String very efficient at repairing the cellphone tower struck by lightening? When, during all the tragedy, did Nikki find time to check into a hotel? Isn't she in a remote fishing village? Is there a Days Inn nearby - perhaps a Hilton?

Speaking of Paul, how was he able to get out of Mexico during the storm, but poor Nick had to hitch a ride in-country because planes were grounded, the local bus service wasn't running, and roads were washed out? How creepy was it for Nick to say he thinks Victor is "trying to show me up" in reference to when Nick was thought dead. Is this a contest to see who can cause the family to worry most, or drive Mama Nikki to drink?

Adding injury to the slap to our collective intelligence, given that he's in the middle of a freaking storm, Nick called the mother of his teenage son to say he's worried about the troubled Noah Newman. What the hell? Wasn't that Daniel Romalotti's job? That incident almost beat out Phyllis Newman's role of having to make arrangements as to who will make statements to the Press, and then agreeing that's Neil's job because Neil has always been the man handling the Press. They could have saved themselves a lot of time had they only recalled the Clear Springs disaster. It's not like they'll tell the Press much as they always have little to say and almost always refuse to take questions. By now the Press should know better than to even ask.

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