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by Brent Kellogg

Continued from previous page...

Unless Nick doesn't know how old his own son is, apparently. After catching Noah and his teenage pals about to drink beer out by the pool, Nick told Noah's mother that their "fifteen year old" was planning on drinking. And Noah used the very naughty word 'pissed' which has been commonplace for years because that's how normal people talk. Ah, but you can't ask your parents why they're pissed. You can stomp your feet and say how much you hate your parents, but don't be using no foul language.

And as you might expect, when Nick called brain dead Sharon Abbott, when she raced to the ponderosa and told Noah to wait in the car like some four-year-old, she puked how "terrifying" it is when your children get old enough to get into trouble.

Like Noah hasn't been troubled all his goddamn life? Like Noah wasn't in therapy for years due in part to all the trouble his parents have been in? Do not Nick and Sharon set the example? Wait until Noah finds out that Sharon lied to him again. She and Jack promised that by the time Noah returned that wicked woman, Gloria Bardwell, would be off the Abbott "mansion" or "estate" or whatever the hell they're pretending a common $400,000 home is these days. They're nice, but they ain't estates of mansions.

Oh yes, Sharon was pissed. She chewed Jack's ass up one side and then the other. Jack promised! But, it's okay. Noah can't shove their promise up his ass. Because Gloria and Fisher the dog have become so close, Gloria can stay at the Abbott home!

I won't ask if this is the dumbest shit you've ever heard. I won't mention that Nick and Sharon couldn't deal with Noah's rebellious display without making a connection to the dead Cassie Newman, who Nick acts as if was his biological child and Sharon's adopted kid. Oh the friggin' horror! A teenager holding a can of beer, as Nick and his creepy associates, and 12-year-old girls and other teens attend galas and clubs and restaurants where booze is being served.

Do you suppose that if Noah becomes a real problem Nick and Sharon will turn to Lily Winters for intervention? With cousin It Hamilton learning that she's a sister, with her yelping she's not a baby, with Tyra Hamilton and Neil Winters not knowing how they'll save a confused it, brother Devon Hamilton has a plan: Have Lily guide It through the nightmare. Assure It that she won't go to Hell because she saw Yolanda Hamilton's drug dealer; the one with sores on his face and missing teeth.

It was horrible, I tell you. Horrible! Thank God Katherine Chancellor and the rich bitches and bastards of Genoa City are pouring their fortunes into drug awareness programs. Thank the government for continuing the war on drugs, funding abstinence, and decrying the legality of Pro-Choice. It's the Genoa City hypocrisy. Find a man, any man, roll in the hay with him. Have hot, sticky sex on the floor, but hold a beer in your hand? Take drugs? You'll surely go to Hell.

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