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by Brent Kellogg
August 19, 2008
Did you hear? Ana 'It' Hamilton is "moving out". If
Devon Hamilton was my brother I would too, but then
I'm not twelve. It is apparently old enough to hang
out with the adults at the Indigo where liquor is
served, she seems to be older than the creepy
Colleen Carlton, but unless Neil Winters is paying
her big bucks for singing those atrocious gospel
songs, I can't image where It would be moving to.
The Abbott college flophouse? The not seen in weeks
Athletic Supporter Hotel? What would inspire It to
make such a statement?
She's going to find out who her real mother is.
She'll learn that Devon is her brother and worst of
all - she's been lied to! Nothing angers a child in
Genoa City more than being betrayed. Nothing panics
a surrogate parent more than a rebellious child and
so there will be days of Tyra Hamilton whining that
she could lose It forever when the reality is that
given the circumstances Child Protective Services
would most likely award Tyra custody in a heartbeat.
Ah, but It must make demands. She may even run away,
and wouldn't that be a surprise?
We've seen it time and again, and we'll be seeing
more when the now seventeen-year-old Noah Newman is
caught drinking booze. Big shocker, right? Teenagers
drinking, very bad, but adults having sex like
teenagers, very good. College professors having sex
with their students is okay too, and now there are
two former professors with Genoa City connections
who have slept with their students.
The city will also have another gambler. I recall
having written in these pages that it would be
interesting to see how Billy Abbott kicked his
gambling habit, if he did at all. And now we've
learned he didn't. So while David Chow's addiction
was such a threat to Jabot Cosmetics, that Billy is
a gambler won't cause the price of Jabot stock to drop.
As Michael Kelly has
already reported, there's a
black cloud hanging over Useless Style Magazine. We
hear that Sharon Abbott will again reevaluate her
marriage to Jack Abbott when we've seen her do this
over and over always reaching the same conclusion
that she must stand by her man. There will be Nick
and Phyllis Newman running a piece is their slimy
fashion rag about Jack's sordid past and what a slut
Sharon is as if the entire world didn't already
know. As if Sharon's face having been beat into
hamburger by Cameron Kirsten was ancient history and
that she once wanted sex with her father-in-law.
Further sexual deviancy became more apparent today
when Amber Moore, after claiming to have had sex
with a Malibu surfer dude to get even with Daniel
Romalotti for having sex with Colleen Carlton,
zoomed to Genoa City and the first place she hit was
the Jitter Joint where old lady Katherine Chancellor
was waiting to hear of Amber's bad adventure with
the hippies. Saying Amber done good, Katherine said
she'd had revenge sex a number of times too because
there's nothing like "a hot roll in the hay" with a
stranger who could be carrying STDs. Quite proud of
herself, Katherine sent the summer message again:
Have lots and lots of sex outside marriage. Don't
worry if a human life develops; your rich relatives
will arrange for a marriage of convenience. Large
engagement parties will be thrown and the alleged
daddies made CEOs of giant empires.
Good Lord, aren't adults Katherine's age supposed to
be more responsible and have high moral standards?
That's right, this is Genoa City where it's been
said that sex is simply an addiction. Daniel said it
again today. He and Colleen "didn't plan" to have
sex, it just happened. It was like LSD passed around
at a hippie orgy. Blow your mind out in a car; ask
questions later. So long as you're not addicted to
gambling and booze and pills, it's all good.
Naturally, Amber couldn't say she had sex with a
construction worker, or a cowboy, it had to be a
surfer. Surfer's are, Daniel should know, so strong.
She felt the surfer's large muscle and caught his
wave again and again as Hippy Hill erupted and it's
a good thing Michael Baldwin wasn't climbing it at
the time.
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