Please visit this merchant

More Stores

by Brent Kellogg
August 18, 2008

Slightly ahead of the learning curve, I cannot understand this exchange between Jana Hawkes and Daniel Romalotti.

Jana: "Amber took an early flight."
Daniel: "What did she take an early flight for?"

Gosh, could it be Amber Moore didn't want to watch Daniel fawning over a 7-year-old girl? With her squeaky voice and 2nd grade mentality that's what Colleen Carlton appears to be. Christ, Ana Hamilton is light years ahead of Colleen. And why, when he'd gone the night before to check on Amber, when he obviously still has the hots for her, would Daniel be sucking around Colleen at the Jana Hawkes/Kevin Fisher wedding? Why would a little girl even attend the wedding of someone who tried to kill her?

Moreover, who invited Colleen? Jana? Wouldn't it have occurred to her that with Amber as her wedding planner, with Amber and best man Daniel star-crossed lovers, having Colleen around might make Amber uncomfortable? Wasn't that why Amber moved Jana's stag party to her rented penthouse? Wasn't it lame that Amber would pick the Indigo as her first choice for the party when she must have known Daniel would be taking Colleen there on a date? After all, where else do people in this city go on dates except maybe a movie and then it's straight to the Indigo or JJ where they then participate in the local jazz club's Karaoke night event. Never mind that besides Ana and Devon, Colleen and Daniel were the only participants.

And who is running the Jitter Joint?

Unless Malcolm Winters returned to serve muffins and chocolate cake and make salads and anything else on the coffee shop's multifaceted menu, the JJ staff went to the wedding. And what a wedding it was. Disliking the phrase 'I don't know about you', I must ask if you appreciate that guests at the wedding you attend are having sex on the floor? Given it was a hippie wedding, nudity would be understandable, but sex in plain view? The bride and groom getting it on down the hall? The stand-in father of the bride bitching and moaning that his guru/preacher/father is nothing but "a sperm donor"? The groom's aging mother being told she hasn't aged a day since Lowell Baldwin saw her at least fifteen years ago? The groom's new step-daddy griping that the old woman is his "glow" now and for old man Baldwin to keep his paws off Gloria Bardwell?

There's nothing like two old men acting like jealous teenagers, but let us delve a bit deeper. When he pronounced Kevin and Jana man and wife, did guru Baldwin say that he was empowered by the State of California to wed crazies, or anyone for that matter? Would it not have crossed attorney Michael Baldwin's mind that the marriage isn't legal?

Speaking of crazy, how loony was it that Daniel would say Jana and Kevin are the best friends a guy could ever have? Perhaps, when you don't have any other friends, when your step-brother is almost as old as you, Kevin and Jana are the best you can get. But for crying out loud, Kevin and Jana "set an example" for Daniel and he hopes to have a marriage just like theirs? How long have the Fishers been married? A day?

Give 'em a few months and the Fisher's will be at each other's throat. There's still a tumor in what remains of Jana's head. Have you wondered too where the Fishers will honeymoon, or was the trip to California it? If only they knew, Kevin and Jana could catch a bus to Mexico and make it in time to catch the Death Boat waiting to set sail.

More

Please visit this merchant