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by Brent Kellogg
Brent's morning coffee courtesy of Speeder & Earls, Burlington, VT.

August 14, 2008

Ah, what a time it is, a freewheeling, piss-in-the-streets era full of pretend private investigators including J.T. Hellstrom who is supposed to be head of Newman security, but somehow finds the time to play Paul Williams' sidekick fighting crime. So long as the criminal activity is remotely related to the Newman family, it's perfectly sensible. For J.T to go back on Paul's payroll would be crazy because Paul doesn't have a payroll. He works for free. Said so himself when he jumped on the David Chow case. His office inside an aluminum briefcase, Paul can solve old murder cases from the comfort of the local coffee shop. He has a bevy of contacts in the field willing to break the law as they conduct illegal credit card activity searches. But then, you knew all that.

You may have known too that Paul would get a text message from Mexico just as his battery's about to die and oh my God he may have pressed "erase all numbers" by accident. Are you still there? Hello? Hello? Oh, hi J.T.

J.T.: "I'll be in touch."
Paul: "What have you got?"
J.T.: "I think we may have found something."

What is it? Why can't you just spit it out? Why must you talk like a hunkmonkey? Is it about Victor Newman? Did you find him? God knows the FBI can't. While just about everyone is aware that Victor left his medication behind; that he would never go anywhere without it, there's been no thought, certainly not by the FBI, that Victor, or his captors, obtained a prescription elsewhere. There's been no search of records maintained by the DEA which can tell who got a prescription from which doctor for what medication and when and where it was filled. There is no equivalent version of the DEA in Mexico, a country which should be one of the first the FBI contacts because we all know kidnappers prefer abandoned Genoa City farm and warehouses and caves in New Mexico.

Late today it was learned that Homeland Security is on the case too! HS is trying to make a connection between Victor's disappearance and the Newman jet explosion nearly two years ago! But wait, didn't the NTSB rule that the explosion was an accident? Wasn't it mostly forgotten that the entire crew died and that all the Newman's cared about was that passenger Nick Newman was found alive?

It was thought too that Nick was going to do everything possible to find his father, but what has he done so far other than run his mouth and have wild teenage sex with his she's-so-much-like-mama wife? Where was Nick today? Where will he be tomorrow? That's right, for someone who told Adam Wilson not to worry about the family business, Nick was worried about the family business. He will brag when Adam's power is taken away and given to Neil Winters.

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