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by Brent Kellogg
August 11, 2008

Did we miss something or was it just me who thought it strange that in such a rush to find his father, Michael Baldwin, and his nitwit half brother, zoomed to Ashland County Jail last week thinking they'd found Lowell 'River' Baldwin?

Understandably, the man in jail wasn't River. He switched identities with River fifteen years ago, and thought to have been last seen fleeing to Canada, has a warrant out for his arrest.

So what did Michael do? Did he zoom to Canada, or contact step-son Scotty Grainger Jr, or make any attempt to pick up River's scent?

Learning of new developments in the Search For Victor Newman case, Michael returned to Genoa City so he could hang at the Newman Ponderosa and play the proverbial bump on a log. Sure, he is presumably the family attorney, he was put in charge of arranging Sabrina Newman's funeral, but what good is Michael? Nobody listens to him.

Despite having told numb nuts Adam Wilson that holding a press conference - at which Victor's disappearance would be addressed - "could get him [Victor] killed", Adam went ahead with the conference anyway. Michael knew too that big teeth Newman son Nick had notified the FBI, and crazy as it was, Nick said the FBI would be getting back to him. How does that work, exactly?

"Hello? FBI? Nick Newman here. My eccentric father has taken off again without telling anyone where he's going and the family is very, very worried. Yes, PI Paul Williams and his hunkmonkey sidekick are on the case. They found my dad's cell phone, wallet, and medication buried next to his dead wife's grave, but I'm still worried because my dad would never go anywhere without his meds. Have the local police been notified? No, you know we don't have much of a police force in this town. Why would I call them anyway? Because my dad could have simply had an epileptic fit? He's wandering the streets not knowing who he is his like when he pointed a gun at my mother? You'll get back to me? Thanks!"

And get back they did. Agents went straight to the Ponderosa. They looked at the found property. They asked why Nick suspected "foul play". Because Victor left his meds behind? The Mob may have wanted Victor to pay David Chow's gambling debt? Is the Mob really that stupid?

Not convinced, the FBI went away, as down at the Newman Outhouse where not wanting to relive the Chow nightmare, but reliving it anyway, Nikki Chow, and her can't stop blaming herself for what may have happened daughter, just happened to have the TV on when the breaking news came in.

"Foul play" is suspected in the disappearance of business mogul Victor Newman. A press conference is being held within minutes and this station will carry it live.

Foul play? Who said anything about foul play? Who told the media, what did Victoria Hellstrom think she could accomplish by going to the press conference, and who let her into Newman Enterprises when she no longer works there? Why, with photographers on hand, would she whack Adam across the face? Wouldn't a photo of that on the front page be bad for her daddy's business? Isn't she whining so much about being such a backstabbing bitch you wouldn't mind whacking her a few times yourself if only it would shut her up?

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